Your Low-Stress Guide to Leveling-Up Your Bedtime Routine
Are You Burnt Out or Depressed?
Thankfully, learning how to stop feeling guilty is doable with time and new perspective-taking.
Dana Charatan, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in Colorado.
She completed her pre-doctoral internship and post-doctoral fellowship at the Wardenburg Health Center at the University of Colorado.
They somehow feel that theyre letting themselves down when they dont meet those expectations.
Dwelling on what you did or didnt do is just going to make you feel worse.
Alicia H. Clark is a practicing psychologist in Washington DC, dedicated to serving the mental health needs of area professionals, students, and families. She has been named one of Washington’s Top Doctors by Washingtonian Magazine and spends her time helping clients face and manage the anxiety and stressors of their life, ideally with more confidence and balance.
Then, let it go.
Put things in perspective.
Its easy to think that something is a bigger deal than it actually is.
We have a tendency to inflate the importance of negative experiences, says therapistLesli Doares, LMFT.
Well great…but how?
(And guess what?
Theyre simply not.)
Focus on the great things you do.
So, challenge yourself to balance out every critical or guilty thought with a positive one.
Alicia H. Clark is a practicing psychologist in Washington DC, dedicated to serving the mental health needs of area professionals, students, and families. She has been named one of Washington’s Top Doctors by Washingtonian Magazine and spends her time helping clients face and manage the anxiety and stressors of their life, ideally with more confidence and balance.
Ask people in your life how they actually feel.
Often, we make assumptions about what is supportive instead of letting the other person tell us.
Break down whats fueling your guilt spiral.
Might you be feeling guilty because of how youve always reacted in similar situations?
If so, Dr. Gallagher recommends following the chain down.
First, identify whether you actually did anything wrong.
Then give a shot to understand whats fueling your emotions.
Ask yourself, what purpose is this serving?
If you cant come up with a valid answer, its time to cut yourself some slack.
Think about how youd treat someone else in the same situation.
You probably wouldnt say, Youre really sucking at this.
Better get yourself together, she says.
Youre holding yourself to a different standard than you hold othersand its unfair to you.
Everybody does things that they regret.
Thats part of life, says Dr. Charatan.
Nothing is all good or bad, and that includes people, says Doares.
Making mistakes are simply actions, not character traits.
You dont always need to make things better to alleviate feelings of guilt, says Dr. Charatan.
Instead, its about reckoning with the grief of not being able to fix things.
If you dont take care of yourself, how can you help anyone else?
Do you feel more energized and refreshed?
Better able to care for your loved ones?
If so, its worth it.
Look at it as an investment in you as a person, says Dr. Gallagher.
Guilt is about the past and nothing can change the past, Doares says.
Additional reporting by Sara Angle.
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