This is easier than done, especially since it relies on a lot of self-reflection.

Whatever the case, its vital to be honest with yourself about your feelings.

How do you know if you should break up?

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According to clinical psychologistSabrina Romanoff, PsyD, the first step is to check in with your emotions.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, clinical psychologist

Another thing to look out for?

Feeling negative emotions like resentment or bitterness toward your partner.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist

Its also helpful to reflect on why you think you may want to end the relationship.

Am I trying to change this person?

and Do I believe I could find someone who is better suited to me?

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

21 reasons to break up with someone

1.

You hold conflicting beliefs about finances

Finances are important in relationships because a relationship is an investment.

This process is exhausting and disallows any partnership growth.

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On the one hand, its possible that the arguments are highlighting a fundamental difference of opinion.

But, on the other hand, incompatible communication styles could be to blame.

In either case, putting a final end to the cycle may be well worth it.

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

New York City-based relationship expert and psychotherapist

Resentments kill our attraction, desire, and intimacy, says Winter.

And resentments that are allowed to linger will eventually destroy our love.

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9.

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A healthy relationship thrives when both partners are getting their needs met.

Consider if youre dating the memories of the person instead of who they actually are.

Are they a good communicator?

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Your answers will ultimately help you decide whether to stay or go.

Its true that relationships require work, but they shouldnt feel like a struggle all of the time.

Instead, its because the only person they have to deal with is themselves.

If the answer is the latter, youll know a break-up is overdue.

An on-and-off relationship is typically chaotic and full of ups and downs.

You cant be the only person putting in the workyou wouldnt go to couples therapy by yourself, right?

So if your S.O.

They make you feel less-than

In a healthy relationship, partners work to uplift and support each other.

After all, we dont enter relationships tofeel alone or lonely within them.

Do you want them with you at a family members funeral?

Can you imagine them by your side at the doctor, whether youre getting good news or bad?

How do you explain why you want to break up?

A goodbreakup scriptwill include a clear timeline of your thought process, says Dr. Romanoff.

She gives this example: Weve been fighting for months.

Ive been unhappy about X thing since X time.

Im not happy and dont want to go on like this.

I need to take a break from the relationship.

How do you break up respectfully?

Additionally, aim to be open and honest but not too detailed.

If the relationship is over, your partner doesnt need abazillionreasons as to why.

How do you accept a relationship is over?

Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to speed up the process ofhealing from a breakup, says Dr. Douglas.

The first step is to stop all communication.

Give yourself a significant amount of time of no-communication to allow yourself to adjust, she says.

During this no-contact phase, give yourself permission to feel everythingthe good, the bad, and the indifferent.

And give yourself grace and lots of love during this time, too.

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