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Surely, agood friendcould never be jealous of youthey should treat your wins as their wins, right?
Where does jealousy come from?
Before we dive into the root causes of jealousy, its important to note that jealousy is different fromenvy.
If I just want what my friend has, that would be envy.
Jealousy can give us clues about what we want in our life, echoes Dr. Morgan.
licensed clinical social worker and EMDR-certified psychotherapist based in Sherman Oaks, California
Still, jealousy can turn an otherwise lovely friendship sour, fast.
Luckily, recognizing the signs that someone is jealous of you could help prevent that from happening.
3 telltale signs someone is jealous of you
1.
If theyre regularly pointing out [your] flaws or inadequacies, that could be another sign of jealousy.
Do these signs sound familiar?
Focus on the actions of the other person rather than any conclusions you may have drawn about their behavior.
Both Jackson and Dr. Morgan warn against outright accusing them of being jealous.
Rather, they recommend having this talk alone while maintaining a neutral tone.
Sometimes people arent evenawarethat theyre jealous; it may not even be conscious for them.
licensed clinical social worker and EMDR-certified psychotherapist based in Sherman Oaks, California
Maybe they were passed over for a promotion at their workplace recently.
When someone is jealous, theres often a lot of hurt in that person, explains Davtyan.
Recognize that its not about youits about them.
Even Ive had seasons of being in that emotion, she says.
Depending on what were going through, it may make it more difficult to celebrate a friends success.
Look at the evidence, she Jackson.
What makes you feel that shes being jealous?
Is it because she did not compliment your outfit last night, but everybody else did?
What evidence do I have that shedoessupport me and has my back?
Is the behavior Im seeing consistent with all the other things Ive seen?
In these instances, Jackson suggests considering your role in their healing process regarding this period of their life.
This specific cause for celebration may be best shared with someone else.
Boundary setting, says Davtyan, can protect you from enduring their attempts to bring you down.
You deserve to feel excited about your accomplishments, and you deserve emotional reciprocityone of the keyelements of friendship.
One thing I tell peoplenotto do is stop sharing about the thing that brings you joy, says Jackson.
You cant make anyone feel bigger by making yourself smaller.
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