After all, none of us are perfect.

Theyve had horrible things happen to them and good things happen to them.

Of course, some behaviors are inexcusable.

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Additionally, as children grow up, their relationship with their parentsshouldchange.

Second, adds Higgins, double-check your questions arent loaded with feelings you have about other issues.

For instance, you might ask your parents why they made certain parenting decisions.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Ibisanmi Relational Health

This can lead todefensive parentsif they know you disagree with how they approached something in the past.

If youre met with defensive parents, try calmly asking them why.

How long have you felt this way?

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

can be a good opener.

Compare that to boxing, where the harder someone punches, the harder the opponent punches back.

She recommends inquiry and curiosity to deepen the relationship.

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Your parents might not want to talk about their life.

It might be painful for them, says Dr. Awosan.

The questions are categorized as icebreaker, relatable, or intimate, to help ensure everyone involved feels comfortable.

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Ibisanmi Relational Health

Eventually, asking questions will help strengthen family ties and provide clarity for understanding mom and dad.

These can range fromfriendship questionsto life lessons they have learned.

These questions may also inspire thoughts on things that you’re free to do together.

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Asking these deep-dive questions can helprepair family relationships.

Depending on your relationship, even simple questions can sometimes feel hard.

But most often, hard questions are those that involve intense emotion like love, loss, or regret.

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Money is also a sensitive subject for many.

Sanam Hafeez, PsyD, director ofComprehend the Mind.

What are some offbeat questions to ask your family?

cup of matcha green tea sitting on a wooden ledge

and, Is there any advice you wish you had received when you were my age?

What are some important questions to ask your parents?

you’re able to even compare your charts to learn more about yourparent child compatibility.

LOS ANGELES - FEB 10: Patrick Schwarzenegger at the White Lotus Season 3 Premiere at Paramount Studios on February 10, 2025 in Los Angeles, CA

How do I use these questions to improve our bond?

What are some thought-provoking questions to ask my mom?

Dr. Hafeez recommends asking your mom about your family history, and your childhood.

Cropped shot of young woman shopping in the dairy section of a supermarket. She is reading the nutrition label on a container of fresh organic healthy natural yoghurt

are all good family conversation starters to learn more parental understanding.

What are some good questions to ask my dad?

You might also ask if there is anything he wishes he had done differently in life.

A hand is stirring a sourdough starter in a glass jar, on a kitchen countertop. The light casts a warm glow, highlighting the ingredients inside the jar.

Finally, ask about his proudest achievements or moments of personal satisfaction.

Those questions will hopefully elicit happy memories and allow you to learn, laugh, and love together.

How can I build a better connection with my parents?

Happy woman dancing and listening to music near a green empty wall outdoor in the city.

Like most things, it takes time.

Giving them your full attention is crucial to building strong connections.

Its how we fill the bucket of safety, security and trust.

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