Wondering if a long distance relationship can work?
Start by asking yourself these five questions to determine if you’re set up for success.
Poor Connection, the screen on my iPhone read, mocking me.
Dropped calls are a common hiccup for my boyfriend and I.
For four out of the six years weve known each other, we have lived 1,500 miles apart.
5 questions to ask before entering a long-distance relationship
1.
Lindsey Warwick, MS, LPC-Associate and LMFT-Associate, is a therapist at The Gracious Mind.
Have I discussed my concerns about going long-distance with my partner?
When will I see him next?
What time will he call me every night?
What if he meets someone new?
What if we fall out of love?
This lack of flexibility can spell trouble for long-distance relationships.
Its something that contributes to anxiety, says Warwick.
Opening up a line of communication about these fears is crucial.
It puts the focus on you, which decreases the defensiveness of your partner.
Lindsey Warwick, MS, LPC-Associate and LMFT-Associate, is a therapist at The Gracious Mind.
Can we afford to see each other if we go long-distance?
When my boyfriend landed in New York City, he was starting from square one.
He had a place to live, but not much else.
Not knowing when (or if) we could reunite in the near future was terrifying.
Being aware of and attentive to that, have conversations around that, acknowledge or ask if thats happening.
You dont want resentment to build up over time.
Are my expectations realistic?
Being able to talk about that or being able to notice those expectations versus the reality is really important.
Understand that sometimes a work thing might come up, or an emergency might happen, adds Warwick.
Can we go without physical intimacy (at least, for the foreseeable future)?
My partner and I lucked out in sharingthe same love languageof physical touch.
During the first two years of our relationship, our sexual chemistry became a medium for deeper connection.
But I hadnt properly considered how difficult a lack of physical intimacy would be for our relationship.
And if you dont have that with your partner, it can be really hard to sustain it long-term.
If youre not busy, it can probably feel a lot more agonizing.
Have I built a life of my own outside of my significant other?
Back when my boyfriend lived in Texas, we would spend every waking moment together.
Where were all of my friends?
Warwick shares that watering your own garden is important, in (and out of) long distance relationships.
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