Spotting passive-aggressive behavior isn’t always easy.
Here’s how to recognize and deal with passive aggression in your relationships.
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Is it them, or are you playing a part, too?
Are you keeping the peace by staying quiet, or are you actually engaging in passive-aggressive behavior?
What is passive-aggressive behavior?
psychotherapist and author ofUnfck Your Life and Relationships*
Passive-aggressive behavior is when someone indirectly expresses their feelings rather than directly communicates their negative emotions.
In other words, passive-aggressive people mightsaytheyre fine, but their actions wont show it.
Dealing with someones passive aggression can feel like trying to read the proverbial mixed signal, says Schmitt.
The person being passive probably isnt going to be feeling great, either.
What causes a person to be passive aggressive?
Alternatively, passive aggression could be part of afawning trauma response, says DeBarros.
Worried that you might be the passive-aggressive person in the relationship?
Keep reading to see five telltale signs of passive aggressive behavior.
5 Signs of Passive-Aggressive Behavior To Look For in Yourself
1.
psychotherapist and author ofUnfck Your Life and Relationships*
The best antidote to passive aggression is to embrace our genuine experiences of aggression, says Schmitt.
When creating that list for any given moment, be sure to allow room for negative feelings to surface.
Confrontation is scary, but avoiding the rift at hand with passive-aggressive behavior will only make things worse.
Passive-Aggressive Communication FAQs
What is passive-aggressive personality disorder (PAPD)?
People with PAPD often fall into cycles of negativism and brew in their own skepticism about themselves and others.
According to Vinall, this official classification is outdated.
What are the traits of a passive-aggressive person?
Additionally, passive-aggressive people often lackemotional maturityand are unable to process their anger in a healthy manner.
Is silent treatment passive aggressive?
One of the most common examples of passive-aggressive behavior is the silent treatment.
This form ofconflict avoidanceis particularly harmful, and in practice, is actually a form of emotional neglect.
How do you outsmart passive-aggressive people?
When dealing with passive-aggressive people, its important to hold self-respecting boundaries, says Dr. Vinall.
Explore the initial rift and what feelings might be driving their behaviors.
Do they feel undermined?
Do they feel unloved, or unimportant?
Such an approach may soften the guarded communicator and make space for a genuine connection, says Vinall.
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