Desire dies at the hands of routine and familiarity because, by nature, it thrives off the unknown.
Desire dies at the hands of routine and familiarity because, by nature, it thrives off the unknown.
so that feel desire, defined as hunger and craving, you have to want something youdontcurrently have.
How to spice up your relationship and take the monotony out of monogamy
1.
When we get used to something or someone, we tend to tune out, rather than tune in.
Take, for example, brushing your teeth; do you really pay attention while youre doing it?
psychotherapist, relationship expert, andNew York Timesbestselling author
As our circumstances changewe age, have new experiences, grow, experience lossour needs change, too.
and What is it that I like when I like sex?
I recommend adding in questions like: What prevents me from feeling good in my body?
and What enables me to feel good in my body?
Then, ask your partner the same questions.
Dont be afraid to get detailed in your investigation.
All of the above could mean you need some personal space to heal your relationship to pleasure.
Instead, create a transitional practice that enables your body to enter a window where connection feels possible.
and see how you could incorporate one or more of these sensory items into a pre-sex ritual.
psychotherapist, relationship expert, andNew York Timesbestselling author
It might sound something like, My partner is lazy, or We arent compatible anymore.
The issue with this jot down of story is that it prevents further investigation.
Instead, get curious about whats happening or whats changed in the dynamic with your partner.
These open-ended questions offer up new pathways for connection, rather than shutting them down.
And sex tends to fall away (or become less satisfying) in the resulting chasm.
Ask yourself: What are you wondering about your partner, but are afraid to know the answer to?
Anything that invites newness into a relationship has the potential to enliven it.
The route to closeness might actually be differentiation andspending more time on your own.
How are younurturing your own garden?
What is your sexual relationship with yourself like?
Do you still do things that bring you playfulness and joy that have nothing to do with your partner?
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