The malignant narcissist is dangerous and potentially abusive.
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But did you know that there are actually nine differenttypes of narcissists(including thevictim narcissist)?
And themost extreme typeis malignant narcissism.
They have a very inflated sense of self and believe they deserve the best of everything.
licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery and author ofDetoxing from a Narcissist
(Meaning that malignant narcissism isnt considered a mental health disorder, more of a personality jot down.)
(Experts add that narcissistic tendencies, including the malignant aspect, can be found in NPD.)
Either way, being in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic qualities of any stripe can be harmful.
What are the signs of a malignant narcissist?
They are deceitful, pathological liars, vindictive, exploitive, and sadistic.
All of these tactics are designed to manipulate your emotions and give them control over your life and reality.
Jambazian describesgaslightingas denying and distorting facts, events, and feelings to make you doubt your reality and perceptions.
That manipulation might look like exaggerating their accomplishments or fabricating stories to gain attention and sympathy from others.
Further, they maintain that control by isolating you from your support system.
licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery and author ofDetoxing from a Narcissist
Jambazian and Leanza say the four stages ofnarcissistic abuseare idealization, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.
What causes malignant narcissism?
For children, these traumas are often referred to as adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs.
This can be emotionally difficult for that child and may be behaviors they believe are okay in future relationships.
Research has found that narcissistic brains have bothlower cortical volume and thickness3.
How does malignant narcissism affect a relationship?
Theres no doubt that someone whos on the other end of such malicious behavior has been through the wringer.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is truly a traumatic experience in and of itself, Leanza says.
The relationship is toxic because the narcissist is toxic.
As a result, malignant narcissism can have a host of consequences on anyone in its vicinity.
Astudy inPsychiatria Danubina5concluded that malignant narcissism has devastating consequences for the family and society.
What might that look like, though?
Others may also struggle with codependency, which keeps them stuck in that abusive cycle.
Walking on eggshells around the narcissistwhose moods are unpredictablecan cause depression and anxiety for the victim.
Over time, survivors are left feeling hopeless, helpless, and resentful toward their relationship, Jambazian says.
Can malignant narcissists love?
The main symptom Dr. Lyons sees as a contributor to their inability to love is their lack of empathy.
Leanza agrees its unlikely.
She says the symptoms make it almost impossible for them to genuinely care about anyone else besides themselves.
What happens when you ignore a malignant narcissist?
Another reason behind their explosion, according to Jambazian, is their narcissistic ego.
They cant tolerate being ignored.
How do you end a relationship with a malignant narcissist?
Thegrey rock methodsuggests you hardly engage with the narcissist so theyll eventually get bored.
(More info on that below!)
Go no contact
Besides grey rocking, Jambazian says completely going no contact can be extremely beneficial.
She acknowledges this can be especially hard for people who have a child with the narcissist.
Build a support system of loved ones
Narcissists may isolate you from your friends and family.
Jambazian emphasizes the importance of a support system.
She encourages finding a therapist to co-create this plan with you.
They can help you consider all aspects that are pertinent to your particular situation.
However, Jambazian and Leanza agree that narcissists wont seek help because they dont see themselves as the problem.
To find these practitioners, check outPsychology Todays database.
Give yourself as much compassion and care as possible, and know you arent alone in this process.
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[Updated 2024 Mar 1].
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Ash, Sydney et al.
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Lee, Royce J et al.
Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorders: Relationship With Oxidative Stress.Journal of personality disordersvol.
34,Suppl (2020): 6-24. doi:10.1521/pedi.2020.34.supp.6
Goldner-Vukov, Mila, and Laurie Jo Moore.
Malignant Narcissism: from fairy tales to harsh reality.Psychiatria Danubinavol.
22,3 (2010): 392-405.
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