Are you noticing emotional fusion between you and your loved ones?
Here are 3 signs to look for, according to a counselor.
Have you been undermining your independence out of fear of hurting your partners feeling?
You might be experiencing emotional fusion, a psychological enmeshing thats part ofBowens Family System Theory.
If its happening to you, it might be time to perform an emotional operation.
People who are predisposed to thisstrain of codependencyusually adopt anti-independent behaviors early in life.
licensed marriage and family therapist
There is no sense of an internal compass that allows them to direct themselves.
They often times look to others to reflect who they are and maintain their sense of self and self-esteem.
Some people are certainly more susceptible to emotional fusion.
But now, in month a million of the COVID-19 pandemic, every household has become a small country.
Its important to retain some sense of independence, even during quarantine and in a loving and connected partnership.
The signs of emotional fusion to look for
1.
With emotional fusion, you sort of live with a concern about rocking the boat.
Emotional fusion can look like having a deep sense of responsibility for your partners reactions, says Thompson.
you might also feel like you shouldnt do or say anything that will upset your partner.
licensed marriage and family therapist
If it helps, think about micro-decisions (Should I got for a walk by myself?
), not life-altering choices (I wonder if Jane would be upset if I moved to Peru).
Oh my god, we HATE the winter).
Thats probably cute to a hard end point.
But emotional fusion is akin to thatyou suddenly adopt the viewpoint of we on everything.
You might become outraged if theyre outraged, get upset if theyre upset, and so on.
You did nothing wrong, friend.
Its a 15 minute stroll!
We all have to see the sun sometime!
There may be a feeling of betrayal if your partner wants to do some thing without you.
Does this sound like a dynamic you have in your household?
Once you figure out whats causing the fusion, itll help you know what to do next.
Make concrete steps towards asserting your independence.
Start making plans with other friends that do not involve your partner, says Thompson.
Take time away from your partner in ways that feel good and pleasing to you.
But know that it isverypossible to get yourself unstuck from someone and enjoy a healthier, freeing relationship.
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