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I was afraid of heights, and I never stepped on the cracks of floor tiles at the mall.
I blinked too much.
I was called particular, but then again, many children are.
And no matter what I did, I couldnt stop.
After several days of this, my parents decided I needed to see a doctor.
board-certified neurologist with the Stony Brook TAA Center of Excellence for Tourette Syndrome and Tic Disorders
Initially, they were dismissed and told they were being overprotective since I was an only child.
I learned that tics were uncontrollable movements or sounds, which is apparently what I was doing.
The neurologist told my mother that, as I aged, my condition would get better.
For the time being, I was put on Zoloft to manage my condition and sent on my way.
Year after year, though, my tics would increase, and the dosage would increase along with them.
Do you think its possible she actually has Tourettes?
my mother asked at one appointment.
The doctor scoffed at her.
No, thats not possible.
board-certified neurologist with the Stony Brook TAA Center of Excellence for Tourette Syndrome and Tic Disorders
And I felt a sense of relief Id never imagined Id feel.
I no longer had to feel like I simply wasnt trying hard enough to stop what I was experiencing.
But the road to get to that point was rough.
Before I knew I had Tourettes, I fielded the occasional comment about my smaller tics.
my very first boyfriend asked me on a Starbucks date.
I asked, confused.
He mimicked what I now know was a motor tic, emphasizing the biggest blink he possibly could.
I didnt do that, I said.
I would know if I blinked that way.
You do it all of the time, he replied.
At the time, I was offended and also hurt.
Shouldnt I know what I do and dont do?
I dont feel ashamed when my eyebrows lift every time I swallow food.
I forgive myself for having to spit food into a napkin when out at a restaurant.
I have to watch my caffeine intake and still take daily medication for my tics and comorbid conditions.
Some days, my Tourettes and comorbidities require me to rest or cancel plans to reset.
Im not going to say I have a career and many healthy relationships despite Tourettes.
Thats because, for me, embracing my tics goes along with my everyday existence.
But many other women are still waiting for that day to come.
Why are so many women with Tourettes underdiagnosed or not diagnosed until later in life?
Some symptoms in girls and women may present as simply politeness or good habits, she adds.
But the symptoms can also cause emotional distress if left untreated.
Tics in males usually present earlier and tend to improve over time.
This is often not the case with girls and women.
Because Tourettes is largely affected by environmental factors and stress, women may have more significant symptoms.
Part of the reason I never considered Tourettes is because I assumed it was, well,that.
One other misconception is that Tourettes is just a boyhood issue.
Unfortunately, [medical professionals] propagate the misconception that tics go away for everyone.
What needs to change?
Medical professionals and the public alike can benefit from learning about and recognizing girlhood symptoms of Tourettes.
What should you do if you suspect you have Tourette syndrome?
Keep a log of any and all symptoms, including potential tics.
Note the dates, how long they last, and other key details.
Having any kind of medical documentation isextremelyhelpful in building your case and getting the answers you need.
It wasnt until I found a neurologist specializing in movement disorders that I got the answers I needed.
Even within the past 20 years, there have been major breakthroughs and updates about Tourette syndrome.
For me, sharing my story is a way I fight the stigma and encourage others to learn more.
Lichter, D G, and S G Finnegan.
Influence of gender on Tourette syndrome beyond adolescence.European psychiatry : the journal of the Association of European Psychiatristsvol.
30,2 (2015): 334-40. doi:10.1016/j.eurpsy.2014.07.003
Garris, Jordan, and Mark Quigg.
The female Tourette patient: Sex differences in Tourette Disorder.Neuroscience and biobehavioral reviewsvol.
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