Can a cheater really change?
Psychologists explain signs of serial infidelity and what to do if you ever catch your partner cheating.
Its human instinct to pull away from someone whos betrayed our trust.
licensed marriage and family therapistwithThriveworksin Cary, North Carolinawho specializes in life transitions and relationships.
Further, by not telling your partner what happened, you put yourself and your relationship in jeopardy.
So, can a cheater change (like,reallychange)?
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
Can a cheater really change after cheating?
After hearing your partner cheated, you may wonder if theres any hope for the future.
They may claim theyll change and never cheat again, but are they being truthful?
Can a cheater change, actually?
And is it even possible for them to promise you something like that?
According to Cox, a person can really change after cheatingsometimes.
In my experience, people can and have changed after cheating, she says.
Whether or not they changeand for goodcomes down to self-accountability first and foremost.
Factors such as accountability, ownership, and willingness to change are helpful across the board.
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
At the same time, theres no uniform post-cheating journey that determines if someone has made genuine progress.
So, each relationship is unique and theres no hard-and-fast methodology to determining whether someone will cheat again.
for yourself is to look for red and green flags within the relationship following the cheating episode.
To achieve this, Stockard recommends working with a professional, such as a couples therapist.
Its also important to note that some people are more likely to cheat again than others.
How do you know if a cheater has changed?
Can a cheater change?
you may still be asking yourself.
First, know youre not alone in wondering if your cheating partner has learned from their mistakes.
This is the most difficult part for the betrayed [partner], Cox says.
Those signs, however, need to last, too.
Research points to an additional contributor that might be more difficult to change.
That should be an effort they put forth on their own.
Stockard also encourages you to focus on your needs during this time.
Shes found that some relationships even grow stronger after cases of cheating.
Of course, thats not always the case; some cheaters are better left behind.
Do cheaters really regret cheating?
Asking yourself can a cheater change?
is one thing, but knowing whether the person who cheated regrets their actions is another.
Unfortunately, this is another one of those it depends situations.
Some cheaters absolutely regret their cheating, while others are more upset that they got caught, Cox says.
Does the pain of being cheated on ever go away?
Learning to trust again after betrayal is a slow process and extremely challenging.
Carole Cox, LMFT
She adds that many betrayed partners will need to share what happened to them repeatedly.
Additionally, many people who have been cheated on have benefited from a daily, restorative self-care routine.
If you oughta grieve, then grieve.
I encourage people to not force themselves to get over it before they are ready, Stockard says.
Listen to your body, and allow yourself to go through the process.
Your partner needs to respect this and let you heal from the hurt and pain that they caused.
Can you ever trust a cheater again?
Can a cheater change, and can you ever trust them again?
After someone is caughtcrossing a line in a relationship, its hard to believe they wont do it again.
But is it impossible?
Learning to trust again after betrayal is a slow process and extremely challenging, Cox says.
Final thoughts
So, after all that, can a cheater change?
While a cheatercanchange, that doesnt mean they will.
No matter what happens, these resources are a crucial reminder you arent alone.
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