Do introvert-extrovert relationships work?
Experts give tips for navigating introvert-extrovert relationships and how to be a healthy couple.
Your answer to this (and other questions on theintrovert vs. extrovert quiz) can indicate how you re-energize.
If your result is the opposite of your partners, you may notice differences or reflect on past disagreements.
With these differences in mind, can introvert-extrovert relationships still work?
a licensed clinical social worker withThriveworks in Pittsburghwho specializes in relationships and family.
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
Do introverts and extroverts make a good couple?
She explains how they balance each other out.
Okay, butcan introverts and extroverts live together?
Thats another fair question.
Some challenges and differences may arise due to their differing personalities, Cwynar says.
Before making their relationship group chat official, its helpful to know what to expect.
Below, learn about some introvert-extrovert relationship problems and introvert-extrovert relationship tips.
So who has to compromise and go out of their comfort zone?
As with many relationship challenges, the first step here is to communicate.
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
The next step is discussing what that looks like in practice.
Perhaps two hand squeezes or the classic Well, we better head out.
Ive got an early day tomorrow.
Taking a look at your calendars and discussing upcoming events well ahead of time is another smart move.
They could drive separately and leave whenever they each want, or pick events theyd prefer to attend together.
Monica Cwynar, LCSW
FWIW, the pair wont always butt heads on this in introvert-extrovert relationships.
A 2013PeerJ study1affirmed a link between extraversion and happiness.
Considering the differenttypes of introvertscan also help in these siutations.
Along those lines, lets not forget that anoutgoing introvertis a thing, too.
These folks thrive in social settingswhen theyre up for the challenge.
With that said, partners having unique preferences and energy levels is completely natural, and pigeonholing isnt helpful.
Alone time in the relationship
Introverts and extroverts may also define alone time differently.
Besides the logistical issue, this difference can bring up hurt feelings and frustration.
Just remember its not personal and venture to establish time boundaries beforehand.
For example, an introvert may need chill time alone after a nieces birthday party.
Dr. Kelley encourages borrowing from the DEAR MAN skill from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
But without realizing it, they may overshareat least in the introverts eyes.
Again, the answer is to talk about it.
Yes, its uncomfortable, but its also necessary.
(Of course, this is the case with all relationships.)
One important factor ishow introverts and extroverts experience stressand relieve it.
More specifically, Dr. Kelley urges establishing expectations ahead of time.
For example, how much time does the introvert need to process alone?
Can they remind the extrovert theyll return at that point?
(ICYMI,stonewallingis when someone shuts down and completely withdraws from the conversation.)
The extrovertor partner who wants to process together right awaycan turn to a journal during that time.
Why are introverts attracted to extroverts?
All of those differences and tips were probably a lot to take in!
Now, lets switch gears to the more exciting parts of dating and the psychology behind them.
So, an introvert drags themselves out of the house.
The introvert feels a tingly attraction that (spoiler alert) lasts throughout the relationship.
Whats behind this attraction?
There is much to be gained from being with someone who complements us.
Think about an invitation to a water park or a huge party.
It sounds super fun, but also socially draining.
Bringing an extrovert can ease the latter.
How do introverts and extroverts flirt?
Introverts and extroverts have distinct approaches to not only recharging but also flirting and expressing feelings.
Keep this in mind, or you may not realize someone is flirting with you!
Mental health pros clarify what to look for.
First, its about the where and when.
Introverts may also take more time to warm up and become flirtatious after knowing someone.
Monica Cwynar, LCSW
With extroverts, flirting behaviors may come a lot faster or be overt.
How they flirt will differ, too.
Cwynar adds extroverts may use humor, physical touch, and direct compliments to show interest.
For the introvert, more indirect flirting is ideal.
What kind of person should an introvert or extrovert date?
If youre an introvert dating an introvert or an extrovert dating an extrovert, is that a yellow flag?
Fortunately, its not that deep.
Cwynar says other factorslike what you want in a relationship and how the other person treats youare more important.
Therapists share tips for introvert-introver or extrovert-extrovert couples ahead.
With that in mind, Cwynar suggests getting to know each other in a relaxed way.
While they need time together and alone, connecting with others is vital, too.
A 2020 study inFrontiers in Psychology2suggests something similar, finding that introverts with more social engagement have higher self-esteem.
Do two extroverts make a good couple?
They may enjoy going out together and thrive in social configs.
This pair functions in similar ways, which can add to compatibility.
Dr. Kelley agrees, adding they need to respect each others energy.
Many of us have been in parameters where theres two big personalities fighting for space and attention.
Its an uncomfortable power struggle, right?
Thats what were talking about here.
The fix is pretty simple, though.
Can an introvert and an extrovert fall in love?
Introvert-extrovert relationships have unique benefits.
Cwynar agrees that with a touch of work, these two can easily become smitten and be compatible long-term.
With that, many good moments are to come.
It is essential to embrace and celebrate the unique qualities that each partner brings to the relationship.
It is much more about respect, curiosity, and willingness to learn from each other.
Cabello, Rosario, and Pablo Fernandez-Berrocal.
Under which conditions can introverts achieve happiness?
Mediation and moderation effects of the quality of social relationships and emotion regulation ability on happiness.PeerJvol.
8 Oct. 2015, doi:10.7717/peerj.1300
Tuovinen, Sanna et al.
Introversion and Social Engagement: Scale Validation, Their Interaction, and Positive Association With Self-Esteem.Frontiers in psychologyvol.
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