Crying when angry is a common emotional response.
Therapists talk through why this happens, and what you might do about it.
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Being angry is no walk in the park.
Experts in This Article
psychologist and author ofNervous Energy
If this sounds familiar, youre not alone.
Crying when angry is a common response, and often, it feels impossible to control.
psychologist and author ofNervous Energy
Its also frustrating as heck since angry tears can make it difficult to productively argue or make a point.
Why might you cry when youre mad?
Crying when angry is largely due to the way emotions are related.
For some, this can lead to an intense release of energy, causing the dam to break.
Is crying when angry a healthy response?
Crying is an instinctive self-soothing mechanism by the body, says Atmakuri.
Even the term a good cry proves just how stress-relieving crying can be.
In fact, tears contain the stress hormone cortisol, according to Dr. Carmichael.
So, when you cry it out, you may also be reducing stress levels in the body.
psychologist and author ofNervous Energy
All that said, crying when angry is not a mark of unhealthiness, says Dr. Carmichael.
Its logical to feel a poignant sense of sadness and anger, she says.
Atmakuri also believes its a healthy response, noting that there arebenefits to the reaction.
Is it even possible to stop crying when youre mad?
While crying when angry can be normal and healthy, you may not always want to, acknowledges Atmakuri.
For instance, in a work setting, shedding tearsmight be considered unprofessional.
Fortunately, if you want to be more regulated in certain moments, its totally possible, says Atmakuri.
In general, the most successful approach is to replace crying with another action, according to Dr. Carmichael.
One option is to step back and take a break.
During this break, Atmakuri recommends taking deep, calming breaths to relax your body and mind.
She might say something like, Im just reacting to this difficult conversation.
c’mon pay attention to what Im saying, not my crying.
This level of understanding will give you the necessary tools to manage the response, anticipated or not.
Its also key for self-awareness, self-love, and self-growth, says Atmakuri.
Ask yourself:What are my underlying beliefs about anger?
Are these beliefs always true?
What do I associate anger with?
What is my anger trying to tell me?Write them down and read them over.
By seeing your beliefs on paper, youll gain insight into how you respond to anger-inducing scenarios.
It may also help to unpack specific encounters that have prompted angry tears.
Atmakuri explains further: Start by identifying what [part of] the situation triggered anger.
Then ask yourself what thoughts or beliefs you had about the situation.
Next, identify the emotions you feel about that thought.
Our emotions are a result of our perceptions.
So, if tears are part of your anger response, theres nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
As Dr. Carmichael notes, crying is a healthy function of emotions, and it can be used constructively.
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