How can you tell if an “ick” is a sign to call it quits?
We asked relationship experts to help decode those tricky feelings.
These includeawkwardly riding a bike,wearing no-show footie socks,and even swimming with goggles on.
(You look so dumb right now, Rihanna sings in the background.)
Its usually a small, silly, or trivial situation, but it could have majorly negative implications.
They work through the ick together and become a stronger couple for it.
relationship and sex therapist, founder atThe Center for Modern Relationships
We talked to relationship experts about questions you might ask yourself to decipher your ick-y feelings.
Am I being too quick to judge?
Pause for a moment and ask yourself where the ick feeling is coming from.
Could it be something more superficial, situational, or born out of your own biases?
An ick is something small that rubs you the wrong waylike socks with sandalsbut doesnt truly impact compatibility.
How do I know if its a dealbreaker?
A dealbreaker, on the other hand, is often rooted in core values, Brown says.
Do they want to get married?
Do they want kids?
relationship and sex therapist, founder atThe Center for Modern Relationships
What are their religious or political viewsand if you two differ, is that a dealbreaker?
Dont assume that your dealbreakers are the same as others.
Take time to consider your relationship boundaries and how the person youre dating fits into those.
Are they respecting your boundaries?
Are they communicating with you the way you want to be communicated with?
Are they giving you what you need in a relationship?
Its important to note that because everyone is so different, our values are also different.
How do I feel around this person?
But what if they dont violate your boundaries or values and youre still unsure if youre attracted to them?
Lack of attraction early in dating doesnt always mean youll never be attracted to the person, Herzog says.
Before the ick settled in, did you feel comfortable, calm, and safe with them?
As long as youre interested in getting to know more about them, theres room for attraction to grow.
Genuine attraction often grows from consistent care and shared values.
Ask yourself why youre feeling turned off before making any decisions.
Since icks are essentially turn-offs, its possible to be turned off and turned on at the same time.
Can we talk about this together?
Being able to be open about your feelings with your partner is a green flag.
It could also eradicate that ick once and for all.
Encouraging the couple to talk about the reasoning behind their actions helped them to understand each other better.
They ended up getting married, says Brown.
Never feartheres hope for those plagued by the ick after all.
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