Perhaps youre theagreeableone in the friend group whos always down to do whatever others want.
Maybe youd rather hop into a freezing lake than disagree with a coworker.
That word is echoism.
What is echoism?
Echoists, or people who experience echoism, are… exactly what they sound like.
Generally, they have difficulty engaging in behaviors that bring attention to their needs and differences.
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
She believes this is all in the name of regarding others well-being over their own.
While discussing echoism can help people feel seen and supported, its important to not pathologize it.
Echoism is also a spectrum, she adds, like otherpersonality traits.
An echoist is simply a person who displays or experiences echoism more than average.
Where does the term echoism come from?
So why did he choose the word echoist?
To answer this, Dr. Malkin points back to mythology.
Like their namesake, echoists definitely struggle to have a voice of their own.
10 signs of echoism
1.
a trauma-informed therapist, podcaster, researcher, and author ofGaslighting Recovery for Women: The Complete Guide to Recognizing Emotional Manipulation and Achieving Freedom from Emotional Abuse.
Avoiding attention
You prefer being in the background rather than the center of attention.
Mirroring others
Along those lines, echoists dont want to draw attention to themselves by acting differently or disagreeing.
Theyd rather mirror others emotions and preferences, according to Genatt.
Feeling fearful of displeasing others
Does this mean allpeople-pleasersare echoists?
Having low self-esteem
While narcissists act superior, echoists act (and feel) inferior.
Genatt says they may downplay their worth orview themselves as less important or less valuable.
This can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, she continues.
Unfortunately, it can become a cycle.
An echoist response of I dont know may be completely genuine, McSparran says.
As a result, she says individuals who experience this may be less likely to take healthy risks.
Unhealthy levels of empathy
Yes,its possible to betooempathic!
So, theyhate and avoid conflictat all costs.
While this may not make sense to people who arent echoists, its a very real fear.
What causes someone to be an echoist?
From another perspective, they may have had echoist caregivers who modeled this behavior, according to McSparran.
It can be indirect in that way, or a result of more direct actions.
Thats essentially what were talking about here.
Insecure attachment style
This is another factor that starts in early childhood and continues into adulthood.
We all develop one ofthree attachment styles: secure, anxious, or avoidant.
Below are practical steps for moving in that direction.
Its okay to say no when necessary and to prioritize your own needs and well-being, Genatt says.
As the saying goes, self-care isnt selfish!
Then, McSparran encourages you to find ways to manage related feelings of discomfort or guilt.
Do they ask about what you want and genuinely want your input?
Dr. Kelley encourages surrounding yourself with supportive people who are themselves empathetic and compassionate.
Further, those people are the ones you may want to try boundary setting with first.
(More on this in a bit.)
Embrace yourself
While this tip sounds pretty big, it can be broken down into baby steps.
To start, Genatt recommends identifying who you are, what you want, and what you need.
She says journaling, mindfulness, andmeditationcan help you explore your thoughts and connect to your feelings.
Once youve got an idea, remind yourself that those aspects aregood.
Celebrate your uniqueness and individuality, Genatt says.
Embrace your own preferences and opinions, even if they differ from others.
Practice being disagreeable
Have an idea of what you like and dont like?
Dr. Kelley suggests disagreeing more freely, even if its difficult.
you might start small, she says, with topics like music preferences and which restaurant to go to.
Challenge unhelpful thoughts
Inevitably, some negative thinking may arisebut it doesnt have to stick.
Work to notice and challenge self-blame and negative self-talk, McSparran says.
Being kind to yourself is crucial here.
Genatt suggests therapists who specialize in assertiveness, self-esteem, and personal growth specifically.
…
Got it, you’ve been added to our email list.
