As moms, we’re not doing great right now.
Every second has been spoken for, every thought has been occupied, there is not time.
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Its been a year since I have seen my parents, my siblings, and my 96-year-old grandma.
Its also been a year since I last cried.
He was the first person to ask me that, and so far, the only one.
…
Not that I expect anyone to askwe are all dealing with our own versions of coping.
Maybe thats why I cried that day.
Hectic, but all part of the single mom territory.
Pre-pandemic life moved fast, but there were slow-moving moments.
Little pockets of free time.
For the past year nothing has been slow.
Every second has been spoken for, every thought has been occupied, there is not time for myself.
Not even one second to cry.
Like most parents,I am in survival mode.
Giving my all to everything, and people saying its not enough and asking for more.
And maybe thats what I am waiting for, a sign that we are all going to be okay.
Slap a pandemic on top of it, and its numbing.
Slap a pandemic on top of it, and its numbing.
I work so hard to hold everything together, that I am holding everything in.
Tears, anger, frustration, fear, and probably even a little joy.
I know it, and I feel it.
Everything I cant express externally, I hoard internally, and it has wreaked havoc on my physical health.
Normally a pretty healthy person, in 2020 I went to the ER after my arm suddenly went numb.
Supposedly, this was an extreme case of carpal tunnel.
I know something needs to change.
We just arent there yet.
So for now, I hold on to the little things andmuddle through as best I can.
Instead of throwing in a load of laundry every single night, I pop on a yoga video.
Rather than sending that 7 p.m. email, I take a shower.
These are my stolen little moments.
Im ready to release.
…
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