Narcissistic abuse in relationships is a form of emotional abuse where the narcissistic makes the victim feel unworthy.

Here’s what to know.

Yes, I saw a few red flags, but I chose to focus on the positives.

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And thus began my relationship witha narcissist, which eventually opened me up to narcissistic abuse.

It was easy to fall in love with him.

Youre telling them how wonderful they are, and theyre rewarding you for seeing their specialness, says Worthy.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

psychotherapist specializing in frustrating relationship patterns and self-sabotaging behaviors

But, this wont last.

Youll have criticisma request, a difference of opinion.

At that point, youll be forced to choose between your integrity or the relationship.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

He refused to take accountability for his actions and blamed me for everything that went wrong.

When I would attempt to address something, he would eithergaslightormanipulateme to drop whatever issue I had.

Even so, we broke up several times, but at his behest.

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The second time was because he accused me of needing constant validation of his commitment.

Now when I look back, I see an abundance of evidence of narcissistic abuse.

He often made me feel badly about my professional milestones.

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

psychotherapist specializing in frustrating relationship patterns and self-sabotaging behaviors

Once, I was excited to tell him about a great meeting I had with a big magazine.

He rolled his eyes and walked away saying, I dont careits just posh people doing posh things.

I often wondered why he couldnt be happy for me, but eventually learned it was rooted in envy.

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I also learned that narcissists are conversation killers.

But I wasnt allowed to talk about my passions or good news without him distinguishing my joy.

There were moments I still believed it was all in my head and that I was the broken one.

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Because of this, I couldnt identify my exs toxic and abusive behaviors.

I also learned about the narcissistic need for control after we broke up and I began dating other people.

Now, I encourage friends to run for the hills when red flags appear.

And when in doubt, talk to a therapist or other mental health professional.

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