Routine is important to an autistic person.

But as my brother learned new ways to live during COVID-19, my family did too.

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He is 43 years old, and he is autistic.

The family unit is tighter these days.

We knew it was important to be together right now.

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When I entered his group home to get him on a Tuesday afternoon, he seemed confused.

Characteristically, individuals with autism are highly dependent on routineand Daniel is no exception.

Why his weekend bowling is postponed.

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And, perhaps above all of these, why we cant take him to the grocery store.

The requests started as soon as we entered my car.

Nicole, we will go to Jewel-Osco.

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For lack of a better explanation, I told him its closed.

Its going to be longer than tomorrow, Daniel.

Thats right, I nodded.

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We have to wait.

The next morning, Daniel came into the kitchen and handed me a grocery list.

We will go to Jewel-Osco, he said, putting on his coat.

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Im sorry, I said.

Its closed, he said.

One of them topples to the floora miss by his count.

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We dont just stand there, either.

This, of course, is a valid point.

Still, none of them put my physical healthand, therefore, their healthat risk.

To the countless caregivers.

To the loss of a mother.

I asked my dad to let me try one more thing.

He met me, breathing hard and glistening from his efforts.

Sit with me here, and show me your list, I asked.

I opened Instacart on my web client and started scanning.

I asked, hovering over the bottle.

I added it to my cart.

I did, too.

Tonight, he says.

I nodded, assuming that this was completely feasible.

When I clicked on available time slots, I froze.

I tried to hide my panic as he left with our dad for a car ride.

What do you think?

My dad entered from the garage and turned on the news, volume low.

I made myself an espresso.

As with the rest of the world, our changes werent limited to online grocery shopping.

from good friends like never before.

We were doing it.

Daniel was adapting, and we were, too.

And, so it would go, I realized, with all of our other re-entries into the world.

And so will we.

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