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As a result, I had a tough time trusting the world around me.
But it was a festival calledRunningmanthat empowered me to really let go once and for all.
If you havent heard of it, Runningman is a three-day wellness festival and race in Rome, Georgia.
licensed professional counselor and sports therapist
I signed up torun a half marathonand began my training immediately.
Then, the shooting happened.I spent three days in bedcrying, rolling around, ignoring all responsibilities.
I considered backing out of Runningman, but my friends convinced me not to.
You need this, they said.
When thinking about something non-stop, we often say its playing on a loop.
Thats what the shooting trauma was like for me.
Sports therapistAndrea Estrada, LPC, explains that trauma impacts how we think, feel, and act.
Symptoms can manifest physically: shaking, shortness of breath, headaches, and insomnia.
They might also be mental struggles, like self-blame and avoiding triggers instead of working through them.
licensed professional counselor and sports therapist
Make no mistake: Thatsexactlywhat was happening to me.
I didnt want to talk to anyone.
My body was tense.
I didnt trust that the world was a good place.
So, yeah, my friends were right.
Unequivocally, this points to how intertwinedsport and mental healthhave become.
I was initially anxious about camping in the middle of nowhere with strangers for three days.
But running into someone I knew made me feel more comfortable, as did making friends along the way.
Even so, I observed peopleat first nervous and then more at ease.
Everyone was happy, smiling at each other and striking up conversations about how much we loved running.
That sense of community helped me start to chip away at the final remnants of my trauma.
Though I had trouble sleeping through the night, that was the first night I didnt have troublefallingasleep.
The next day, on a mile-long loop, I tackled 13.1 miles of the worlds most unserious race.
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I began my exercise journey within the context of myexposure therapypyramid for OCD recovery, Braun says.
After Brauns workshop, I got back on the course to finish the half marathon.
For both of us, Braun tells me.
This is a feeling my entire being can relate to.
I felt cleansed on a spiritual level andfinallycried out of joy instead of grief.
These include excitement, achievement, empowerment, trust, or happiness.
Those are going to fulfill you and help that poison get out of you, Estrada says.
As an athlete, Braun has his own conception of this.
He thinks of it more as burning off anxiety, dread, fear, and intrusive thoughts.
Im more present and attuned to my surroundings and breath.
The unseriousness of this race was crucialnecessary, evenfor me to give myself time and grace.
I have the medal to prove it.
And even if it took me weeks to process my trauma from the shooting, I still processed it.
I once again feel fully safe and believe in humanity.
Though healing is a lifelong journey, Runningman proved that even small strides lead to major shifts.
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