Want to be a good talker?

Experts explain how to be a good conversationalist, sound more interesting, and strengthen your relationships.

This issue is particularly pronounced among the children I work with.

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Even if youre not a naturally chatty person, its possible to be a good conversationalist.

How can I be a good conversationalist?

Below are six expert-backed tips for how to be a better conversationalist.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

a research psychologist who studies communicating about relationships and human connection

Listen closely

Giving someone your undivided attention and listening closely to what they say goes a long way.

Allow for awkwardness

Your conversations wont always flow perfectly, and thats okay.

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6.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

Instead, share more about yourself during conversations, Turner advises.

This not only invites the other person to open up but also helps build stronger relationships.

Why are some people better at communicating than others?

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As a result, this lack of genuine engagement can increase disconnection and strain relationships.

Not great, since the presence of close relationships benefits your overall well-being.

This doesnt make you a bad conversationalist and it’s possible for you to turn things around.

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a research psychologist who studies communicating about relationships and human connection

We are all going to feel more competent conversing in certain environments or with certain people rather than others.

What are the characteristics of a good conversationalist?

What makes you a bad conversationalist?

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

For example, you might say, Something similar happened to me the last time I traveled!

What happened next for you?

This way you give them a chance to share more if they want and it keeps the conversation balanced.

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What do healthy conversations look like?

First, venture to cut yourself some slack.

This is why small talk is actually beneficial, he adds.

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Using, Then what happened?

Depending on the circumstance, you may be interested in evolving from small talk to a deeper conversation.

This process can be a gradual build-up.

How do you recover from a boring conversation?

Boring conversations are salvageable, and its possible to move the conversation into a more interesting direction.

That said, abruptly changing the subject as soon as you lose interest isnt typically the best approach.

Now youve redirected the interaction to something potentially more interesting, says Roberts.

Pietromonaco, P. R., & Collins, N. L. (2017).

Interpersonal mechanisms linking close relationships to health.American Psychologist, 72(6), 531542.

Atir S, Wald KA, Epley N. Talking with strangers is surprisingly informative.

Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A.

2022 Aug 23;119(34):e2206992119.

Epub 2022 Aug 16.

PMID: 35972959; PMCID: PMC9407669.

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