Is it relationship anxiety, or are you having legit concerns?
A love therapist shares tips on how to deal with relationship anxiety.
To be clear, its totally normal to feel relationship anxiety every now and again.
Committing to a person can bring up doubt and insecurity even if youve never opened a dating app.
But while these feelings are worth investigating, they are not necessarily indicative of a problem in the relationship.
Sometimes doubt is simply a reaction to the hard work required to maintain meaningful connection.
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5 questions to ask to help you deal with your relationship anxiety
1.
Am I emotionally safe with this person?
(Important disclaimer: Emotional safety does not apply to abusive behaviors.
If you are experiencing abuse, that is always grounds to end the relationship and seek personal safety.)
Dont confuse feeling safe with feeling good all the time.
What is the frequency, duration, and intensity of my anxiety?
Start to track when the anxiety arises and how it shows up.
Now attempt to get to know that feeling: How long has it been here?
When did it first appear?
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What is your earliest memory of experiencing this emotion?
Instead ask yourself how you feel about the relationship when youre not in an anxious state?
Are your doubts or insecurities actually about you?
Can you be honest about these personal insecurities with your partner?
Notice if taking responsibility for your own struggles shifts the dynamic, and therefore your feelings about your partnership.
The more self-acceptance we are able to garner, the more accepting we are of the shortcomings of others.
What are my beliefs about conflict and struggle in relationships?
One person is not capable of meeting each of our needs.
), rather than looking for them to be met by a new romantic partner.
Have I sufficiently explored my worries and fears?
Go toward the fear instead of planning an escape from it.
Get to know your particular shade of fear and stare it in the face.
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