Your Low-Stress Guide to Leveling-Up Your Bedtime Routine
Are You Burnt Out or Depressed?
But as with harboring anger, holding onto resentment is all too often counterproductive.
What exactly is resentment?
Itll have youseeing redfor as long as you let it.
Thats because of the intense effect of resentment on the brain.
Even more bitterness can percolate.
licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Ibisanmi Relational Health
How can I identify the source of my resentment?
Thats especially the case if youve expressed your concerns only for the other person to continue ignoring them.
The same goes for being regularly belittled others (yes, even if its in a joke-y way).
Its also possible that you feel more broadly dismissed or not fully seen by society writ large.
Why is it so hard to let go of resentment?
In some cases, harboring resentment functions as a protective mechanism, says De Paula.
Its common to continue to find wrongs that reinforce the feelings of resentment.
And the more bricks you place on that resentment wall, the harder it gets to climb over it.
What role does forgiveness play in releasing resentment?
licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Ibisanmi Relational Health
In short, a big one.
Genuine forgiveness takes time.
Thats right: Some degree of resentment when youre mistreated is normal and good.
Instead, consider viewing your initial resentment as a helpful friend.
Only then is real forgiveness possibleand still, it doesnt mean letting the person off the hook.
How can letting go of resentment improve my relationships?
Holding onto resentment typically feels pretty horrible.
Remember how it can flood your brain with stress chemicals and crank up the volume on negative thoughts?
Research indicates thatboth willingness to forgive and letting go of resentment3can improve your mental health.
And when youre in a good headspace, you might also build better friendships and romantic relationships with others.
And that behavior can affect the way you approach other relationships, too.
Are there any specific exercises or practices to help let go of resentment?
Even if you recognize the power in forgiving someone, it can be tough to do in practice.
Letting go of resentment is, in fact, totally within your control, says Dr. Levine.
You dont have to depend on another person to lessen your resentment.
At the end of the day, youre not releasing resentment for them; its foryou.
So, tryreframing your thoughtsfrom the perspective of an outside party mediating a relationship between yourself and your resentment.
To do so, consider the emotional wounds that the situation might be ripping apart.
Actively listento what the other person says in response to your expressions, says Dr. Awosan.
Give them the room necessary for them to express their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
And even if you suspect that youre entirely the victim, that person can be you.
And in removing judgment, youll also take some of the fuel away from the resentment fire.
Toussaint, Loren L et al.
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Bankard, Joseph, et al.
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