It’s not easy to establish new boundaries in established friendships.
Here, xperts weigh in with tips on how to create friendship boundaries.
Its about managing walls, but also managing doors and windowsessentially navigating the space between you and another person.
Common reasons for boundary setting with friends
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For example, if youre at a certain life stage wherein other demands are exhausting your bandwidthe.g.
The goal of such a boundary, says Hill, would be to ensure a mutually-beneficial relationship.
Chicago-based psychotherapist
Alternatively,you may want to set boundaries around interactions with your friend that are contingent upon them compromising.
This may force you to set boundaries around teasing or jokes at your expense, says Dr. Franco.
Some people prefer texting, while others may be more comfortable with calls, for example.
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How to set boundaries with a friend
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Franco recommends opening a dialogue with your friend about the relationship dynamic.
Talk about the dynamic before acting out a boundary on behalf of the dynamic, she says.
I need you to stop acting like everything is about you doesnt give them anyplace to go with it.
Its scary, but its not as bad as repairing things after a huge argument.
Chicago-based psychotherapist
That way, youre offering an alternative that might still meet their needs, she says.
What to do if the friend doesnt respect your requested boundaries
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Phrase it in a way that they still have a choice to minimize defensiveness, she adds.
ensure that its not just an empty threat, she says.
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