Learn about addiction
First and foremost, Russell says its important to educate yourself.
However, a large part of what causes addiction is genetic.
That doesnt necessarily mean putting up with poor behavior, for instance, but it does mean withholding judgment.
This will often involve interrogations into their behavior, such as whether or not theyre going to enough meetings.
This is not a helpful dynamic for anyone, says Russell.
Its exhausting for the family member and it sends really negative messages to the person in recovery.
Rachel Russell, MA, is Chief Clinical Officer at The Freedom Institute, a NYC-based outpatient treatment center providing addiction rehabilitation programs.
This doesnt mean you should avoid the topic or ignore troubling behavior, she clarifies.
Just dont have a go at police it and be in charge of it, says Russell.
Instead, Russell recommends that people get support to manage their own feelings around their loved ones addictions.
Let the person be in charge of their own recovery, she says.
(Russell recommends asking first, however.)
You could say to the person, We used to do a lot of drinking together.
But its important to talk about it and name it, Russell says.
But in the beginning, thats really difficult, she says.
Having a friend go sober may surface some uncomfortable realities about your own drinking.
Rachel Russell, MA, is Chief Clinical Officer at The Freedom Institute, a NYC-based outpatient treatment center providing addiction rehabilitation programs.
This is sometimes how people find out they have problems of their own, honestly, says Russell.
Someone whos given up substances, for example, might suddenly begin engaging in compulsive sexual behavior.
Its about communicating openly and listening actively to what they say is working for them.
But you’ve got the option to express concern.
you’ve got the option to say, Im kind of worried about you.
Just be open and honest.
But sometimes addiction isnt managed properly the first go-round, so slip-ups can happen.
So that conversation isnt about judging, Russell says.
Its about wondering if theres something else that needs to be in place to help them stay on track.
If theres any recurrent theme to this advice, its thatno judgment.
While it may be difficult to understand, addiction is not easy to break.
Those struggling need all the compassionate support they can get.
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