Three months earlier, in October, Id found out I was pregnant.
With a baby that was very much planned, tried for, and going to be loved.
In November, I woke up to a massive amount of blood.
I went to the hospital for testing and found out Idmiscarried.
But none of it was helpful.
I was hurting myself by avoiding the hard truth: I was sad, and I was in pain.
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I never said to myself, This is difficult, and its okay to be sad about it.
Conversely, my husband was endlessly supportive.
He reminded me that he didnt have a monthly physical reminder that we werent expecting anymore.
My family did everything they could to show me how much they cared.
So wise beyond her years.
I couldnt have asked for more out of my community, yet I knew I needed something from within.
In December, family, friends, Christmas lights, and distractions surrounded me.
I decided to try it.
As we began, each day of the journey built on the last.
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Over the month, I gained strength, both mentally and physically.
A subtle reminder to both the body and brain simultaneously that I am alive.
The challenge was not easy, but it allowed me so much healing.
Although I might have been practicing on my own, I never felt alone.
And with each rollout of the mat, I could feel myself healing.
Gaining just a little bit more serenity and understanding.
This daily practice taught me that my body is imperfect but beautiful.
It has carried two little humans, one of them here with me every day and one not.
It wasnt my fault that I stumbled, and it wasnt my fault that I miscarried.
And in that final practice, the tears flowed.
And for that, I am thankful.
I am healing and healthy.
Will we try for another baby?
But we will never forget the one we lost.
Looking for a yoga flow for the body and mind?
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