Does somatic yoga work?

After a period of grief, a writer out the practice to help them heal.

Here’s what happened.

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Oh wow, he said.

Youre holding a lot of grief.Thats strange,I thought.

I wasnt sad, and I hadnt cried in recent memory.

Two young women practicing ballet with a teacher in the dance hall.

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And okay, dating again after ending a near-decade long relationship, Iguesswas kind of a big deal.

But I was over all of that.

I was handling it, and moving forward.

Woman doing hip exercises

So there I was on the table.

Grief is stored in the stomach, my doctor explained.

Got it, I replied, hoping mydeepskepticism didnt come through, though it definitely did.

Cropped image of woman doing lunge yoga pose

See, Im an a la carte-style wellness girlie.

But when my acupuncturist told me that he could feel grief in my stomach, I brushed it off.

But two hours after my session, I was in my boyfriends apartment sobbing.

Woman in leggings and bra doing Lunge with Arm Extended Up pose hip opener stretch during yoga session in morning at home.

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My body was once my instrument, my pen, and my paintbrush.

In high school I danced ballet 36 hours a week.

I know the power of expression through the body, without words.

Woman doing arm exercise without weights while sitting on mat at home.

I sculpted my muscles and trusted them to remember the things I couldnt.

Somewhere along the way, I lost trust with my body and disconnected from it in some ways.

Butsomatic yogahelped me bridge the gap.

A woman in sports clothes does yoga or gymnastics at home. Daylight. She smiles

What is somatic yoga, anyway?

In a sense, all yoga is somatic.

Its a first-person, internal, lived-experience practice.

Does somatic yoga work?

A searing pain shot from my lower back, radiating down my leg and through my entire being.

Its grief, a family friend told me.

Grief is held in the body.

Itll go away on its own, I replied.

The physical pain was a distraction from the agonizing torture of losing my best friend.

My entire being was racked with the malaise of grief I couldnt escapeand I was desperate for relief.

The grief would creep up on me, never fully subsiding, its hand constantly on my neck.

My therapist had suggestedgentle movementanddiaphragmatic breathing.

Angry people live in angry bodies, writesBessel van der Kolkin his bookThe Body Keeps the Score.

Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.

To stretch, to be gentle, to be aware of my breath, to release.

Each of Kelis videos range from 10 to 30 minutes.

I started doing them in bed in my pajamas, because thats what I could do.

Now, Ill do some in bed and roll out theyoga matwhen that feels like the right move.

Slowly, Im re-building my relationship with my body.

Were building trust, and Im learning to listen.

For me, the release usually comes in a pose toward the end.

A few sessions ago, I pressed play thinking I wanted respite from the grief of death.

Afterward, I found myself calling my boyfriend to tell him how much I love him.

Whats so liberating about an emotional release is its pure honesty.

To know thyself is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

All you need is the courage to set yourself free.

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