Here, she provides relationship advice to open minds and change perspectives.

I just want to avoid setting her off again, so Im withholding.

I love her, but her possessiveness is really unattractive to me.

alt

Any ideas for how to deal with a jealous partner when you havent done anything wrong?

In our relationships, we wish the other person would change their behavior to ease our pain or suffering.

I still remember the sunken feeling of the first time I saw my college ex with his new girlfriend.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

…

Heres how to deal with a jealous partner and protect your relationship

1.

But what if you do the opposite?

Consider when youve experienced jealousy.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

How did it feel to worry about something being at risk?

What ultimately made you feel safe or cared for that enabled you to work through the emotion?

You might also want to get to know more about your girlfriends jealousy: What triggers it?

alt

What is she most afraid will happen if she doesnt control your behavior?

Survival strategies might look like lashing out, trying to control, eye-rolling, or getting defensive.

Oftentimes our survival strategies trigger our partners vulnerability, and therefore their own survival strategy.

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

…

Perhaps your girlfriends vulnerability is rejection or being unlovable.

If this is the case, she might be masking it with her survival strategy of control.

This then this kicks up your survival strategyperhaps its fixing the problem by denying its reality?

alt

Oftentimes our survival strategies trigger our partners vulnerability, and therefore their own survival strategy.

Unity can only happen when both parties take down their guards.

What is the vulnerability that might be underneath your protection strategy?

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Have you expressed what it feels like when youre accused of things you did not do?

Does this remind you of any aspect of your past?

After all, its her job to reassure herself.

In fact,researchshows that were worst at listening to those we love the most.

This might be due to a belief that we can already predict what they are going to say.

…

Got it, you’ve been added to our email list.