Most of the time, a patient and I work very well together.
Occasionally, however, thetherapeutic relationship doesnt jive.
The reasons can vary.
This also means you dont have endless sessions to burn in pursuit of your mental health match.
Additionally, the demand for therapists might, in some cases, exceed the supply in a given area.
So many people find that the therapists they contact dont get back to them.
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But it can make a potential patient feel rejected.
Overall it can be a detecting experience, one that you dont need if you are struggling.
Like dating, it can take a lot of patience to find the right person for you.
None of these things are true, So how does one choose the right therapist?
Ive identified three factors that I think are crucial.
Chemistry is hard to explain.
There is aje ne sais quoiquality to it.
Ive heard it described as a feeling that you and another person have connected on a deeper level.
Finding a therapist can be very similar.
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What is therapeutic alliance?
Most studies seem to point to the bond between the patient and therapist.
However, I define the therapeutic bond as a shared understanding and connection between the therapist and you.
Empathy is also an essential part of alliance.
If you dont have a sense of empathy from your therapist, the relationship likely will not work.
Sometimes a therapeutic relationship can feel aimless.
So it helps to come into therapy with a sense of what youd like to work through.
Its Amazing How Its All Connected.
Figuring out what orientation works best for you is similar to swiping through dating profiles.
Most people dont choose a date at random.
They look at a persons profile to see if it connects to ones worldview.
Selecting a therapeutic orientation is similar.
This may or may not appeal to you.
Other therapists might be psychoanalytically trained or have Gestalt orDialectical Behavioral Therapy(DBT) training.
Its understandable if youre not entirely sure what these things mean.
Its important to remember that these orientations areways of seeing the world.
They are useful, but they arent written in stone.
All of them can be effective.
However, if you look hard enough, there arestudiestoback up mostkinds of therapy.
Far more important is what speaks to you and what aligns with your worldview.
When we are dating, we dont necessarily question those choices.
We often just trust our instincts about what feels comfortable about a persons identity.
For example, I am an Asian American therapist.
Because of my identity, many of my current patients are Asian Americans.
I think this is perfectly understandable.
Many of my Asian American patients have found it difficult to discuss race with other therapists because of it.
A person who identifies with the LBGTQ community?
A person of color?
But it is often a baseline for most so they can feel comfortable with their therapist.
Without feeling comfortable, real therapeutic change is hard to achieve.
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