Its not the stranger down the street, says Gange.
We dont put people around our children that wethinkcould hurt them.
What were doing is giving them confidence so that they can handle and manage things on their own.
This kind of explicit support shows other adults that youve got your kids back (so to speak).
It also shows your child that you support them and their boundarieswhich helps them trust you.
We want our kids to have a spidey sense of when something just doesnt feel right in your gut.
trauma therapist and the author ofHeal for Real
Children trust adults to protect them and act in their best interest.
Were not teaching them safety skills for their body in the long run.
Just as our moods and desires can change in an instant, theirs can, too.
And if they still dont want to hug grandma after a few hours?
Thats okay, too, says Moroney.
Just as some adults arent naturally big huggers, some kids arent either.
Some kidsparticularlythose with autism spectrum disordermight also be overstimulated by touch or physical affection.
Im a huge proponent of I statements, says Gange.
Shes not trying to hurt your feelings.
trauma therapist and the author ofHeal for Real
We want kids to have physical touch.
We just want them, as for ourselves, to be able to choose it.
Asking a question opens up the opportunity for a direct answer rather than a guilt-driven embrace.
Think invitation rather than command.
Apart from physical affection, holidays and family gatherings hold opportunities for other forms of connection between family members.
Its important to note that the power of physical affection shouldnt be discounted.
A welcomed hug from loved ones can comfort, reassure, and even energize.
A forced hug is similarly powerful, but in negative ways.
We want kids to have physical touch, says Moroney.
Kids are cuddly they need it, its what we all need.
We just want them, as for ourselves, to be able to choose it.
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