I am looking for love in the smallest pond.
Rather, my search for love continued in the worlds smallest pond.
Of course, dating experiences greatly differ between locations.
Furthermore, challenges heighten for folks who live in small communities.
Family or community disownment, socio-economic disadvantages, and inequality afflict LGBTQ+ people every day.
Talking about the trauma created by simply existing is never easy.
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If people find someone who understands and cares in such a fundamental way, a strong connection forms.
A partners acceptance of the complex history and personal flaws reassures people.
Undoubtedly, a routine also provides comfort, stability, and security, but not necessarily sustainable love.
Complacency ultimately keeps LGBTQ+ people in unsuitable relationships.
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Love wears many coats.
Love for a supportive friend is beautiful butdifferent from the love for a partner.
you’re free to love someone without being in love with them, which is a stark difference.
People also often mistake love for lust, which eventually loses novelty.
We may have a go at force substance, but it rarely lasts long-term.
What if this is as good as it gets?
Can I handle being lonely?
What can I afford to lose emotionally?
My first out relationship began freshman year at university.
Both of us had lots of personal exploring to do, which we shared.
We came out to our families and friends together, talked about marriage, and discussed the future.
Our relationship equated to chalk and cheese.
Picture a small, quiet, nerdy introvert grappling with a loud, explosive, reckless extrovert.
She wanted to stay in and watch movies; I desired to scour the bar scene.
She read in groups at the library; I rattled iron at the gym.
She obsessed over cats; I am allergic.
At the six-month mark, I began to conceptualize what my emotions meant.
The terribleness of our relationship?
My heterosexual friends asked over and over, Why are you still dating?
and my response sometimes would be, What if this is it?
They would retort, Girl, theres plenty of fish in the sea!
Yeah, I have heard something like that before.
The breakup was amicable.
We still talk occasionally.
It was sad and difficult at first, but I knew it was right.
Friends and family who always saw the blatant differences in us continued to question the relationships logic.
If the relationship is inexpedient, end it amicably to maintain the friendship, if possible.
In reality, the dating pool for people in our community is much smaller.
Perhaps we queer folks believe that when someone has enough compatibility, the relationship is enough.
Take my word, my well-seasoned word that incompatible companionship is not the answer to our small pond issue.
Patience, personal growth, and time are indispensable.
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