Um, Can You Use a Vibrator While Pregnant?
Welteroth and her husband, musician Jonathan Singletary, welcomed their son in April 2022.
I felt myself shrinking in the presence of doctors, Welteroth says.
I felt myself being shamed into silence.
How could I have done something different to have warranted better care from this person?
Is it something I said?
…
Is it how I spoke?
Is it a question that I asked that put them off?
Did I ask too many questions?
And for Black women, the statistics are even more pronounced.
[I want to] really put it to work for the good of our whole community.
But medical gaslighting can happen to any of us.
I felt I should be equipped to navigate it.
I felt it was going well.
As she was leaving, she said to me, You have exceeded your two- to three-question max.
…
It was so incredibly rude, and I felt so shut down.
So, because of my phobia, my question was about her policy on IVs.
[The doctor] literally laughed at me.
She was still laughing as she walked out of the room.
I deserved better than this.
My personal experience with medical gaslighting expanded my perspective on just how broken our medical care system is.
It deepened my well of empathy for the many people who’ve experienced what I have and worse.
EW:Believe your body.
It sounds a little simple, but it’s a hard thing to do.
It’s our birthright to unlock that wisdom and to honor it.
It’s so much easier said than done, but I really hope that this message becomes more normalized.
In all other applications of the phrase, it’s not life or death.
EW:I wish every mom were asked that question and had the space to answer it.
The truth, though, is that I’d never experienced balance before.
I have it now because my baby forced some real shifts in my approach to achieve it.
I now have something more important than work, which I’d never had before.
And it feels really good to have this permanent reminder that there’s more to life than work.
This human being is a portable charger for my soul.
He makes everything better; he makes everything worth fighting for.
[These women] will forever impact my experience of motherhood, and particularly my experience of new motherhood.
It’s a romantic way to talk about motherhood, but it’s the truth for me.
And Im so grateful that this is my story.
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