Your Low-Stress Guide to Leveling-Up Your Bedtime Routine
Are You Burnt Out or Depressed?
I have seen multiple therapists and been on antidepressants for years.
Id had a rough year leading up to that moment.
I didnt have time or energy to address my griefI just tried to ignore it and work through it.
Then my grad school rejection letter came.
Opening that rejection letter was the spark that set off my emotions.
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I couldnt stop crying.
The pain and heartbreak didnt ease with time, and I fell into a dark depressive spell.
He urged me to go to the emergency room as soon as possible to get treatment.
But I was terrified.
What if I didnt want to open up to strangers?
What if I was forced to take medication I didnt want to take?
I had no idea what to expect.
But I knew that I needed more help than what I was currently getting.
Bland white walls, an occasional painting of flowers, linoleum floors that creaked slightly when you walked.
…
My shared room was large, with three simple white beds.
It was mostly normal, except for the bars on the windows.
I knew exactly when I would eat, meet with my therapist, go outside, watch TV.
Work was the primary focus, and everything else felt like a rushed afterthought.
On the first day, I was embarrassed to see themmy hair was disheveled and I was wearing pajamas.
I was vulnerable and struggling.
But that first visit and subsequent ones showed me how much I mattered to others.
Most of us had depression, anxiety, or substance abuse issues; we werent considered dangerous.
I even made friends during the short time I was hospitalized.
We went on to eat dinner together and write together on other days.
That simple gesture led to a friendship and companionship that helped me feel less alone in the hospital.
And that made me feel less alone in my suffering.
Ive also taken to heart the lesson I learned from one patient about coping mechanisms.
Its very soothing, she told me.
As you color, you will begin to develop patterns.
The patterns will help calm you.
I always color or work with my hands when I get overwhelmed.
I knit, crochetall of that helps me.
I have also never valued human connection more.
Those moments are why I now make an extra effort to reach out to my friends and family.
Makes us all feel less alone.
I still have days where I struggle.
There are days where I want to run screaming down the street.
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