Not being in the mood for sex may be a sign of some other issue, like depression.
Here’s what to do if you have a low libido.
Your Low-Stress Guide to Leveling-Up Your Bedtime Routine
Are You Burnt Out or Depressed?
And of course, sometimes, youre just not in the mood simple as that!
People can be not in the mood for sex for any number of reasons.
Read on to feel better.
founder and psychotherapist at The Racial Equity Therapist
What is it called when youre not in the mood for sex?
What to say when youre not in the mood for sex?
First things first, body language here matters.
From there, try any of the following phrases as jumping-off points:
1.
Right now, Im feeling a bit low energy.
Can we reconnect in 10/20/60 minutes to retry?
Partner 2: But youre never in the mood.
Partner 1: I realize that.
It seems that your physical needs and my emotional needs are both not being met.
founder and psychotherapist at The Racial Equity Therapist
Maybe we should get some help in therapy?
Why dont I have feelings for sex?
Here are some more reasons you might not be in the mood for sex.
Youre straight-up too tired
I hear a LOT from clients about general exhaustion impacting sex drives, says Lucas.
Having a low sex drive is not an inherently negative thing.
It is only problematic when you are unhappy about the ways in which it is affecting your life.
If you cant detach from certain external stress triggerswork, health, relationshipsgetting in the mood can be tough.
Meaning, variation in bed can stoke a fire of sexual interest.
This doesnt necessarily mean a variety of partners, per se.
But what if you masturbate regularly but still arent all that interested in partnered sex?
This could cause conflict and disconnect in a relationship, Clark says.
Medication
A lowered sex drive can also be sparked by certain medicationsSSRIs are notorious for this2.
They alter normal female hormones, and this has been found to affect sexual drive.
Heres how that works: They lower free (available) testosterone by increasing sex-hormone binding globulin.
Basically, estradiol spikes in the middle of your cycle.
Testosterone is a key hormone for female sex drive.
We do not recommend women self-medicate.
Since it is a hormone, they should do it under some doctor guidance, Dr. Gleicher says.
Your priorities are elsewhere
Not being in the mood for sex can also be explained by changing priorities.
How can I get into the mood for sex?
Instead, Lucas recommends actively working to feel sexy throughout the day.
Frederick, David A et al.
What Keeps Passion Alive?
54,2 (2016): 186-201. doi:10.1080/00224499.2015.1137854
Jing, Elizabeth, and Kristyn Straw-Wilson.
2016, doi:10.9740/mhc.2016.07.191
Gleicher, Norbert, and David H Barad.
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