What is pocketing, exactly?
Dating experts talk about how the seemingly-innocuous practice might indicate trouble in your relationship.
The sparks, the butterflies, the learning-everything-new-about-each-other phase… totally irresistible.
And if youre like me, you want to give your friendsallthe details ASAP.
After all, can anyonegive as great advice as your bestiescan?
You may wonder if the lack of a hard-launch on Instagram means they dont want to be with you.
dating and relationship expert and coach, and founder of dating advice platform HeTexted
Theres a popular dating trend that describes and explains their behavior: pocketing.
In other words, pocketing is keeping your partner in your pocket, so to speak.
Your partner could be pocketing you if they havent posted about you, but are otherwiseactive social media users.
But what if you havent been dating for a long time?
Is there a point when your partner should have posted about you?
Pocketing isnt just relegated to social mediaits an IRL thing, too.
And in most cases, their pocketing behavior is most likely not about you.
However, there are some potential red flags surrounding pocketing.
Glaser says that it could signal issues with the persons transparencywhat are they not telling you?
dating and relationship expert and coach, and founder of dating advice platform HeTexted
For example, they may not be honest about their intentions or expectations, says Dr. Adams.
Or maybe your partner isnt serious about you, period.
Possibly because theydont respect or care about them enoughto do so.
If you feel nervous about approaching this concern with your partner, thats understandable!
Just remember youre not doing anything wrong orasking for too much.
If your partner continues this behavior and it concerns you, speak up.
You have that right, Glaser continues.
You are an active part of this relationship, just as they are.
Let them know that you want to be visually represented in their life publicly as well as in private.
Dr. Adams encourages you to use I statements calmly so your partner doesnt feel attacked.
For example: I feel like you dont like the idea of me meeting your friends and family.
Would you like to talk about it?
or I find it a bit concerning the fact that I havent met your friends/family yet.
Id like to talk about this if youre ready to.
Be prepared to listen and work on the issue collaboratively.
When you bring this up, notice how your partner responds.
Are they open and understanding?
And do they follow up with genuine change?
Or do they shut you down?
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