Commenting on appearance can be harmful to people, according to experts.

Here’s how to celebrate someone without mentioning their body.

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Its just popping up in other, more publicly acceptable, yet just as detrimental, ways.

woman sweating in the gym

a licensed psychologist and assistant professor atImmaculata University

The ruse: compliments.

It doesnt have to be a negative comment for it to impact, Lopez says.

The thing is, especially for people with eating disorders, theyre already super hyperfocused on their body.

Woman walking on a treadmill at the gym.

Any comment somebody makes kind of just reminds them that, Oh, wait, peoplearenoticing my body.

To many, tossing out statements like, You look incredible!

and Youre so skinny!

Full body female athlete in sportswear using rowing machine during fitness workout in gym.

But why can a seemingly innocent comment have such a serious impact?

We live in such a weight-biased, fatphobic society that it bleeds into our [daily lives].

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a licensed psychologist and assistant professor atImmaculata University

Heres What Experts Say

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And in some circumstances, it may not be a healthy one.

Healthy female training in the gym, performing a hip thrust.

Anyone can be impacted by body talk.

You dont need to be the direct recipient to internalize these messages, either.

Youre so tiny nowand youre about the same size as they were pre-weight loss.

A young black woman doing post-run stretches in the park on the road amidst green grass and trees.

That is really, really shaping to a kids belief system.

Do you want to say it because you respect themor because youve evaluated them and want them to know?

Think about how youd describe and praise the Mona Lisa, Dr. Khiatani advises.

You wouldnt say, Wow, the Mona Lisa looks great.

You might tell your co-worker that her sense of style gives off so much confidence.

Praise people for reaching the goals theyve set.

Remind people theres more to them than how their body looks, Dr. Khiatani says.

Impact always weighs more heavily than intent.

2021 May 29;8(1):20551029211018920. doi: 10.1177/20551029211018920.

PMID: 34104461; PMCID: PMC8165851.

Sabik NJ, Geiger AM, Thoma MV, Gianferante D, Rohleder N, Wolf JM.

The effect of perceived appearance judgements on psychological and biological stress processes across adulthood.

2019 Aug;35(3):318-329. doi: 10.1002/smi.2863.

Epub 2019 May 17.

PMID: 30882988; PMCID: PMC6711807.

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