After 10-plus years together, one writer says her relationship in quarantine is much different than before.
Are those changes permanent?
Peter Kanaris, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, sex therapist, and sex educator.
Since 1998, he has directed the Sexual Diagnostic Program in Smithtown, New York.
Neither of us had been sleeping well, and it seemed like we never had a minute to ourselves.
We werent spending time together so much as tagging the other one in for baby duty.
Leah Guttman, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who is currently a supervisor for the New York State Office of Mental Health Pandemic Stress Response Practicum for which she supervises graduate students providing emotional support to first-responders and others impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic.
We were cranky and resentful, and felt more like childcare colleagues than romantic partners.
When youre under stress, you have lower frustration tolerance, Dr. Guttman says.
One thing this situation can lead to is even more conflict.
One thing this situationcanlead to is even more conflict.
If these conflicts keep rolling, the danger becomes that it can breed alienation, Dr. Kanaris says.
Are the changes permanent?
According to Dr. Guttman, its too early to tell.
Crises are not the best time to assess the stability of a relationship, she says.
Does the partner who leaves dirty socks on the floor realize this makes the other partner feel ignored?
Leah Guttman, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist who is currently a supervisor for the New York State Office of Mental Health Pandemic Stress Response Practicum for which she supervises graduate students providing emotional support to first-responders and others impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic.
Youve both done a lot.
Meet each other together in the middle.
Its not a contest.
Its not whos drowning more than the other, he says.
If thats too hard to door you continue to struggleyou can also seek help from a professional.
Its also important to make dedicated time for each other.
But not all the changes are bad.
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