Reparenting yourself promises to improve mental health by taking care of childhood wounds.
Here’s how to start reparenting yourself.
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even when you arent).
And in those cases, you may benefit from reparenting yourself.
What is reparenting?
a psychotherapist who specializes in inner child healing
Eric Berne, MD, a Canadian psychoanalyst, is often credited with creating the concept of reparenting.
All children need something calledlimbic attunement4aka a loving, emotional connection with a parent or caregiver, Rothschild says.
Whengood attunementexists, a child feels that their parent can understand and share their feelings.
The critical window for receiving this messaging of attunement is during the first few years of your life.
(Say, your parents divorce or financial troubles.)
What does it mean to reparent myself?
In this process, youre tapping into your wise inner parent to care for your wounded inner child.
(If you couldnt tell already, it involves a lot of deep, internal work.)
Youll need to work on silencing your inner critic, practicing self-compassion, and trusting yourself.
a psychotherapist who specializes in inner child healing
What are the four pillars of reparenting?
Emotional regulation
Emotional regulationis the ability to manage or moderate your emotional state.
Loving discipline
Not quite the same as tough love, loving discipline is all aboutcreating boundariesfor yourselfandthen maintaining them.
Its a state of being that involves creativity, joy, spontaneity, and playfulness.
Many people were raised in homes where this sense wasnt nurtured, supported, or even tolerated.
What are the benefits of self-reparenting?
Reparenting is often viewed as a way of undoing or replacing bad or insufficient parenting, he continues.
Reparenting can be used to help people overcome difficult childhood experiences or traumas that resulted ininner child wounds.
Self-reparenting can help you learn to honor your needs.
Reparenting can help you finally show up for that inner child and create a powerful new story.
Though reparenting yourself can be dubious and difficult, it can also be quite rewarding.
All that said, reparenting (including self-reparenting) work is based on theory rather than hard scientific evidence.
Some of the treatments used to help people reparent, however, have more demonstrated effects.
For example, Rothschild uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in his inner child/reparenting work with clients.
How do I start reparenting myself?
Rothschild likens the stages of inner-child healing and reparenting to the stages of grief.
We move from denial and bargaining to feeling sadness and anger to acceptance and empowerment, he says.
Heres a rough outline of whats typically involved with reparenting yourself.
Acknowledge your inner child
Like with many things, awareness is the first step.
Reparenting yourself starts with consciously welcoming your inner child into your life, Rothschild says.
Find joy and empowerment
This is where you get to reconnect with the positive parts of your inner child.
This is where amazing breakthroughs happen.
The only requirement is that the main purpose needs to be enjoyment, and nothing else.
How do you know when a therapist is warranted?
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Di Renzo, Magda et al.
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