Should your partner be your best friend?

Not always, according to relationship experts.

See how to set good relationship boundaries here.

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Hes my best friend, one friend says, referring to their partner.

Is that abeige flag?

Is there something wrong with your relationship if your partnerisntyour best friend?

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

licensed marriage and family therapistwithThriveworksin Cary, North Carolinawho specializes in life transitions and relationships.

Would your partner call you their best friend?

Does it matter to you whether you and your partner are best friends?

Are you and your SO friends at all?

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

The question of whether your partner should be your best friend is a complicated one.

Should your partner be your best friend?

Granting your partner best friend status definitely has its pros.

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Youll encounter many situations together in which you may want to be with someone who has best-friend energy.

Its natural for how you feel to fluctuate on whether your partner is your best friend, too.

The main concern, though, as Stockard mentioned earlier, is should your partner be your best friend?

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licensed marriage and family therapistwithThriveworksin Cary, North Carolinawho specializes in life transitions and relationships.

Are they someone you trust?

Can you communicate effectively with them?

Do they have your best interests at heart?

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

Is it healthy for your partner to be your best friend?

When your partner is demonstrating behavior that a best friend would, youve likely spotted somerelationship green flags.

Stockard says these green flags might look like simply enjoying each others company or trusting each other with secrets.

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This form of dependency on one another, and characterizing it as a best friendship, is extremely unhealthy.

When thats the case, its vital to take a closer look at the dynamics of the relationship.

Red flags include controlling behavior and extreme criticism.

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Moresigns of relationship abuseinclude gaslighting, intentional cruelness, constantly blaming you, and making you doubt yourself.

If you think you or a loved one are experiencing this, youre not alone.

In this case, intimacy can be platonic.

Additionally, both friendships and romantic relationships entail the dreaded DTR (ordefine the relationship) talk.

What one person considers a close friendship may differ from someone elses view.

Ahead, therapists share key signs that your partner might also be your best friend.

Its also understandable that you may want to hang with your partner most.

They feel that this deepens the relationship and gives you more to talk about, Cox says.

They also acknowledge the value in nurturing your collective and individual support systems outside the [relationship].

For example, you may enjoy a recreational sports league while they catch up with friends at a brewery.

When youre back together, you update each other.

You two share a special relationship

Friendships, work relationships, and familial relationships all look different.

The same goes for romantic relationships, especially when your partner is your best friend.

They are your person to process the hard times together, or share in the good times together.

When partners work through those arguments and forgive each other, though, they may also be best friends.

You both strive to communicate with kindness and respect.

Things like bedhead, bad takes aboutLove Islandcontestants, and the occasional freakout wont run them off.

Instead, youll be able to work through conflicts as a couple and your love will grow stronger.

When youre sad about losing a family member, they hurt, too.

They will celebrate your successes and cry with you during your disappointments and failures, Cox says.

They also want to help you grow, pushing you to get whats in your best interest.

They will allow you to dream and challenge you to be your best, Cox adds.

You consider their best interest (not approval!)

when making decisions and/or life changes, Stockard says.

While these decisions are big ones, they arent always major.

Is it a red flag if your partner has no friends?

Your partner being friendless is not necessarily a red flag.

What means more, relationship experts say, is whats behind that.

Is it a preference?

(Making friends as an adult can be hard!)

But after digging deeper, the partner had lots of hobbies and intereststhey just preferred solitude.

It is about respecting differences in one another without judgment, she adds.

It is absolutely okay to call your partner your best friend, especially if theyareyour best friend!

Is it okay to call your partner your best friend?

Therapists say to screw the haters.

It is absolutely okay to call your partner your best friend, especially if theyareyour best friend!

Ultimately, she encourages doing and saying what feels genuine to you.

Cox agrees this is a personal question, and adds that she has firsthand experience grappling with it.

Everyone is entitled to their viewpoints and what feels right for them, she says.

Is your partner meant to be your best friend?

Your partner might be your best friend, and thats great!

At the same time, its also okay if your partner isnt your best friend.

Having close friends outside of your relationship is so important, too.

Its also possible, though, to feel somewhere in between.

You may consider your partner your best friend oroneof your best friends, Cox says.

Basically, none of these situations inherently suggest your relationship is wrong or concerning.

Is it okay if your partnerisntyour best friend?

The idea of your partner connecting better with someone else may make you feel uncomfortable.

Could that be consideredemotional cheating?

Not necessarily, Stockard says.

All couples are different, Stockard emphasizes.

Just double-check whats between you two is solid.

At the very least, your partner should at least be a friend to you, she says.

Grover, Shawn, and John F. Helliwell.

Hows Life at Home?

New Evidence on Marriage and the Set Point for Happiness.Journal of Happiness Studies, vol.

2, 19 Dec. 2019, pp.

373390, https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-017-9941-3.

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