Not sure if you’ve got the option to trust someone?
Learn from experts about the top signs of an untrustworthy person and why their behavior can be dangerous.
licensed marriage and family therapist, and founder of mental wellness platformBeneand conversation card gameDo Tell!
Why is trust in a relationship so important?
Trust is associated with honesty, integrity, safety, and reliability.
So how do you know who you’ve got the option to really trust?
board-certified clinical psychologist, cognitive behavioral therapist and author ofHow to Get Your Resisting Loved One into Treatment: A Step-by-Step Guide for Mental Health and/or Addiction Crisis.
It might be helpful to first spot the signs of untrustworthiness.
What does a lack of trust feel like?
Lack of trust can be present in a friendship, too.
Its possible to feel closed off and guarded around certain friends, says Licuanan.
You shouldnt have to feel the need to distance yourself from someone, adds Licuanan.
How do you know if you have trust issues?
Plus,getting over trust issuesdoesnt happen overnight, no matter the cause.
Here are some signs that trust issues might be hindering your relationships.
You cant stop approaching relationships with suspiciousness or hypervigilance.
board-certified clinical psychologist, cognitive behavioral therapist and author ofHow to Get Your Resisting Loved One into Treatment: A Step-by-Step Guide for Mental Health and/or Addiction Crisis.
That can be a clear sign of trust issues, which can stem from anxiety.
Youre overly cautious about sharing personal things or being vulnerable.
Its normal to feel fearful of how that information may be used against you, Licuanan says.
You find yourself overanalyzing every behavior and catastrophizing.
Social media sleuths, you’re able to probably relate to this one.
You have a habit of ending relationships before they get serious.
If you dont have trust in someone, its almost impossible to be vulnerable with that person.
How can you tell if someone is an untrustworthy person?
Dodginess can happen in either a potentially toxic friendship or a romantic relationship with an untrustworthy person.
Theres a line between someone being private and hiding something.
Their behavior comes off as shallow or surface-level.
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They dont want to take the relationship public after a significant amount of time.
Is this person always inviting you over after midnight or for Netflix and chill dates?
Or are they not taking you out in public for dates or outings?
This could be another indicator of evasive and secretive behavior, adds Westbrook.
They wont open up and shut down conversations when you take a stab at do so.
This sign of an untrustworthy person goes back to vulnerability.
This goes beyond shyness or difficulty with vulnerability.
They cant keep your secrets.
One sign of an untrustworthy person is when someone frequently shares private information that youve told them in confidence.
They tend to lie by omission.
Dishonesty is not always blatant, though.
Trustworthiness can be on the rocks with dishonesty about ex-partners, too.
Theyre flaky or dont stay true to their word.
Trust is built on a foundation where people follow through on what they say they are going to do.
Untrustworthy people might not be consistent in their actions matching their words, says Licuanan.
It can be difficult to trust that this person is making you a priority.
Can you love someone and not trust them?
Dealing with untrustworthy people involves a careful balance of confrontation and boundaries.
These are some ways you’ve got the option to work through that.
Stay curious before making a judgment, in some cases.
This is not a sign of untrustworthiness as much as a personality trait.
Its also a good idea to consider the persons cultural background and past life experiences.
Trust your gut if it’s crucial that you.
It may take some time though.
It may even be time to disengage with that person completely.
Balance confrontation and boundaries.
Dealing with untrustworthy people involves a careful balance of confrontation and boundaries, says Howard.
The best way to do this is through using I language.
Give them a beat to respondthe best-case scenario is that your partner is planning a special surprise for you.
This requires both people to be committed to resolving the issue, though, says Howard.
How do you end a relationship with an untrustworthy person?
It is possible to get out of a relationship with someone who exhibits the signs of an untrustworthy person.
It may just take some patience and directness on your part.
Be honest and direct about the harm they have caused.
Whether the relationship is almost salvageable or beyond saving, honesty is the best policy.
Licuanan suggests having an open conversation about the relationship and specific behaviors that make you feel uneasy or anxious.
Set boundaries when you better.
Still, its important to set clear boundaries and communicate what you will and wont put up with.
If the boundaries youve set are not honored (i.e.
Know when to cease contact.
Do whatever it’s crucial that you do in those situations to disengage and cease contact.
This can also help you heal from the relationshipas the saying goes, out of sight out of mind.
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