The holidays bring both connection and tension.
Learn from experts about how to avoid and diffuse family fights over the holidays.
Ahead, psychologists and experts share their tips and sound advice.
What is it about the holidays?
Be prepared for entering those [tense] family dynamics, says Cleveland Clinic psychologistSusan Albers, PsyD.
First off, family members from far-flung locations may be staying in the same house.
psychologist and body language expert
Someone who is drunk isnt going to make a rational conversation partner during a holiday family fight.
They may overstep boundaries or act in ways they wouldnt if they were sober, Dr. Cook adds.
Know that this is normal.
Especially people with anxiety, it can help reduce your anxiety overall if you have an exit strategy.
This way, you’re free to gently redirect someone when uncomfortable topics arise.
it’s possible for you to also get a trusted family member to help you with this.
you’ve got the option to also set boundaries as a group.
Remember that the goal is likely to spend time together, not enter a battle royale.
When you feel yourself getting worked up, you may step away to go into a different room.
psychologist and body language expert
Grab someone else and start doing something else, suggests Divaris Thompson.
If youre able to engage without escalating, you might also share your points.
If you cant, ask to table it or say youre done.
Cuni advises using I statements to show how you feel and to convey that youre actively listening, too.
Global events and social issues
Another issue thats sure to get tempers flared?
Ongoing global events and social issues.
The holidays may be clarifying moments for this.
Personal life and decisions
This bucket of personal topics is all about whats happening with you.
This is the topic where its really important to outline your boundaries ahead of time and to enforce them.
The best venue for genuine discussions of your personal business is one-on-onenot a round table discussion.
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