What qualifies as emotionally cheating in a relationship?
Experts share signs your partner is having an emotional affair and what to do.
What exactly qualifies as emotionally cheating in a relationship, though?
Do close friendships count?
What is emotional cheating?
Before getting into the weeds of emotionally cheating, lets get on the same page about what it means.
licensed marriage and family therapist and co-parenting coach
Usually, this consists of some level of secrecy, dishonesty, or breach of agreement.
The part that makes itemotionalcheating, though, pertains to what the person does outside the relationship.
Is every emotional relationship a potential affair?
Since emotionally cheating doesnt have a sexual component, it may be trickier to discern betweenfriendship and emotional cheating.
After all, platonic love often reflects similar levels of closeness, commitment, and care to romantic love.
Smolarski says they can be very supportive and a source of deep conversation and joy.
The difference, she continues, is how the interactions play out and how they affect your romantic relationship.
Emotionally cheating vs. micro-cheating
Emotional cheating andmicro-cheatingare similar in some regards.
With both emotional cheating and micro-cheating, she continues, youre probably not looking at a physical relationship.
licensed marriage and family therapist and co-parenting coach
Hayli Evans, LMFT, LPCC, a therapist who specializes in trauma, stress, and relationships.
Why do emotional affairs happen?
Emotional affairs can occur for a number of reasons.
If you feel like a particular friend may be more helpful with a specific situation, thats fair.
Just consider kindly letting your partner know.
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3.
Discuss how your relationship is doing, Smolarski says.
you’re able to do this with just each other or with a couples therapist, she continues.
Evans agrees that reaching out to a therapist who works with couples is your best bet.
Navigating emotions and stories surrounding infidelity can be treacherous, but also important work, she says.
Additionally, she encourages connecting with your support system.
Our loved ones can help provide perspective and love in difficult times, she says.
Discuss boundaries thoroughly
What are your boundaries?
What are your partners boundaries?
Do you each feel respected?
If you feel your boundaries are being pushed, talk about it, Smolarski says.
Sweeping little boundary breaches under the rug can cause them to become bigger issues later on.
Only agree to them if you know you will be able to uphold them, she says.
Continue to bring energy into the relationship instead of letting it seep out, she says.
So often, our conflicts come from misunderstanding what our partner is actually trying to communicate, Evans says.
Talk about your expectations, and listen.
Talk about your emotions, and listen.
In other words, communication is a two-way street that involves both sharing and listening.
While its not the nicest-sounding proverb, its trueand pertains closely to what were talking about here.
Have fun
Relationships are more than just serious conversations, compromises, and meaningful moments.
Its important for them to be lighthearted, exciting, and joyful, too!
You should seek professional help as soon as you realize you are having an emotional affair, Smolarski says.
If possible, seek help before you actually engage in an affair.
There is no harm in seeking professional help early, Evans says.
She adds that couples therapy can introduce new perspectives and tools that help prevent issues further down the line.
Think of it as a sign of your dedication to continued growth.
Can a relationship survive someone emotionally cheating?
In short, a relationship can survive emotional cheatingwith a caveat.
Relationships can survive most things if both partners are committed to doing the work required, Evans says.
In this way, addressing a situation where a partner is emotionally cheating can help the relationship grow.
Should you break up over someone emotionally cheating?
If your relationship feels too unhealthy and irreparable, though, breaking up might be the way to go.
If youre the person whos been emotionally cheated on, any way you feel about the situation is valid.
You (like your partner) have a decision to make, and theres no judgment either way.
Just know thathealing after being cheated onwith or without that partneris possible.
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