Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that leads a victim to doubt what they know to be true.
Here’s how it happens and how to respond.
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But one negative side effect of that discussion spike is the spread of misinformation.
So what is gaslighting,really?
Experts in This Article
licensed clinical psychologist and author ofShould I Stay Or Should I Go?
licensed clinical psychologist and author ofShould I Stay Or Should I Go?
What is gaslighting?
Rather, it most commonly occurs in relationships predicated on some amount of trust or closeness.
The person doing the gaslighting uses that established level of trust to discredit the other persons experiences.
Its often considered a form of emotional abuse, and it usually happens repeatedly, adds Dr. Ramani.
Why is it called gaslighting?
When she points out their flickering, he denies that theres anything wrong with them.
Thus, the term gaslighting was born.
How do you tell if someone is gaslighting you?
Its common to feel confused after youve been gaslighted.
licensed clinical psychologist and author ofShould I Stay Or Should I Go?
Below, Dr. Ramani outlines a few commongaslighting tacticsto look out for:
1.
By shifting the blame onto the victim, the gaslighter retains the power in the relationship.
What is an example of gaslighting?
Below, youll find real-world examples of several common types of gaslighting you might encounter.
Relationship gaslighting
As the name suggests, this form of gaslighting occurs within a close relationship.
The less you could engage, the better.
Often, racial gaslighting takes the form ofmicroaggressions1, or subtle acts of racial discrimination.
What causes gaslighting?
Dr. Ramani says that people who gaslight are usually insensitive, insecure, and power-hungry.
They only feel comfortable in a relationship when they hold dominance, she says.
Its essential to seek support if you feel youre being gaslighted in any way.
How to deal with gaslighting
1.
Ask yourself: What is this person gaslighting me about?
How are they discrediting my perception of reality?
What events led up to the gaslighting?
Answering these questions can help you better identify any future attempts to continue gaslighting you.
Only when you knowwhatit is can you disengage with it, says Dr. Ramani.
If you believe youre being gaslighted, take the time to document the instances of gaslighting as they occur.
They dont care about the evidence because theyre not just lying, explains Dr. Ramani.
Lying can be stopped with evidence.
But when you show a gaslighter the evidence?
And that kind of relationship is never one worth staying in.
And set aside times during which you will not engage with this person at all.
Do you think you may be a victim of gaslighting or another form of emotional abuse?
This resource is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
Johnson, Veronica & Nadal, Kevin & Sissoko, Gina & King, Rukiya.
Its Not in Your Head: Gaslighting, Splaining, Victim Blaming, and Other Harmful Reactions to Microaggressions.
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https://doi.org/10.1007/s10896-023-00582-y
Baskin-Sommers, Arielle et al.
Empathy in narcissistic personality disorder: from clinical and empirical perspectives.
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Zajenkowski, Marcin et al.
Vulnerable and Grandiose Narcissism Are Differentially Associated With Ability and Trait Emotional Intelligence.Frontiers in psychologyvol.
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