Here’s how to make it work.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Fulchuk.Ina and Jeffrey Garten.
What do these three famous couples have in common?
They lived apart for a portion (or the entirety!)
What is living apart together?
Couples are now intentionally doing so long-term.
psychotherapist and the founder and director ofThe Gay Therapy Center
It wasnt seen as a valid lifestyle choice the way it is now, Amias says.
Non-cohabiting between partners is now more socially accepted.
Some couples might find that their interpersonal dynamic is improved by living apart.
It allows couples healthy ways to briefly sunder and cool down before addressing and resolving disagreements.
Thats very empowering for some people, Dr. Latimer says.
Who does living apart together benefit?
However, those who have contrasting living habits or schedules may greatly benefit from living apart together.
He loved being surrounded by lots of sentimental objects, while she was a minimalist who valued uncluttered space.
Vacation Fling Gets a Reality Check in New Romance Book Swept Away
2.
psychotherapist and the founder and director ofThe Gay Therapy Center
Quality time increases since how that time is spent is much more intentionaland limited.
Living apart together is a part of this trend of intentional experimentation with boundaries in loving partnerships.
They may also already have established careers, homes, and lives theydont feel the need to enmesh.
Are there people who might not gel with LAT?
As such, this relationship style may not work well for those who place too much emphasis on distance.
Amias notes that individuals who usually feelanxious in relationshipsmay also not be suited for LAT.
There are a variety of factors at play that are unique to each individual and relationship.
But know that LAT may not be right for you.
Communication skills are important for all relationships, but theyre especially vital for LAT relationships, Amias states.
Be clear and have a shared understanding about boundaries.
We tend to make a lot of assumptionswithout talking about them directly.
Talk openly about what you want and why you want those things, Dr. Latimer emphasizes.
Ask questions with curiosity and without judgment.
Blum says that LAT works best when individuals intentionally connect and embrace vulnerability.
Learn to connect emotionally: Connect over the phone, video, or through texting while not living together.
Fluidity and reciprocity in LAT relationships allows individuals needs to be heard and met.
Flexibility also supports relationships, Blum says.
We need to know that our partner will be there to support us when we experience greater distress.
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Living apart together.Community, Work, and Family, vol.
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Levin, I.
Living Apart Together: A New Family Form.Current Sociology, vol.
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