Masturbation is absolutely healthy in relationships.

Learn how it can actually improve your sex life and strengthen your connection.

Or maybe youve walked in on your partner doing some self-pleasuring.

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Is masturbating when youre in a relationship healthy?

Self-love can be a great form of self-care, whether or not youre in a relationship.

There are many knownbenefits of masturbation, including stress relief and bolstering body image and self-esteem.

Two people’s legs touch under a table as they work on their laptops.

sex therapist and licensed clinical social worker

These benefits dont change or become less important when you enter a relationship.

Its even possible tomasturbate without touchingyour genitals, for example throughplaying with your boobsor massaging or spanking your bottom.

People who masturbate on the reg actually have higher levels of sexual satisfaction, adds Dr. Morse.

Books on grief are seen floating against a backdrop of clouds.

Is masturbating akin to cheating on your partner?

This can lead to some misconceptions that actually further entrench stigma against masturbation.

For example: the notion that youre cheating on your boyfriend by using your vibrator?

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Masturbating also doesnt mean your partner has a sexual shortcoming or they arent satisfying you.

In most cases, this isnt true (more below on the exception).

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But can masturbation replace sex?

Michelle Monaghan, Carrie Coon, and Leslie Bibb in The White Lotus, symbolizing toxic friendships.

sex therapist and licensed clinical social worker

Think of masturbation and partnered sex as two different instruments in your sexual wellness toolboxtheyre definitely not mutually exclusive.

When does masturbation become an issue in relationships?

Another time masturbation could be a problem in a relationship?

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Its also important to be mindful of your masturbation frequency.

Sex is something we need to practice, says Dr. Mayer.

Masturbation shouldnt take the place of sex with your partnerit should be viewed as practice for the big game.

Courtesy Berkley Publishing

Start an open conversation about your masturbation habits, and listen to your partners ideas, too.

You might also try watching porn together and watching each other masturbate.

Another way to test this out?

Go in different rooms and try masturbating over video or phone together.

FAQs about masturbation in relationships

Whats a healthy level of masturbation in a relationship?

In this case, masturbation can help fill the gaps and keep both partners satisfied.

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