(I learned most of this from Davis, not my timer.)
Some folks may hear Daviss advice and think, Feelings?
What do feelings have to do with doing your dishes?
Cleaning doesnt make you a good person, and not cleaning doesnt make you a bad person.
Sometimes, though, there isnt a gap in information.
Its Amazing How Its All Connected.
licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and founder of Struggle Care
I assume that its not just about being too sad or anxious to clean.
Underneath that, theres a lot more, though.
For example, a lot of shame comes with feeling as though youre not good at cleaning.
Its a lot like our relationships with food.
Cleaning is very similar in that respect.
HS: What are some of the emotional impressions people can absorb that make cleaning hard?
Those are the real things that we need help unpacking.
HS:Do you have some examples of how emotions can influence someones cleaning habits in the present?
This person might constantly clean and be super neat and tidy.
licensed professional therapist, author, speaker, and founder of Struggle Care
They might find it hard tostopcleaning and miss out on other things as a result.
HS:You talk alot about ADHD on your page.
Does this factor into an emotional relationship with cleaning, or is that more symptom management based?
KC:Oh, its definitely emotional, too.
Something must be wrong with me if this feels hard.
This self-talk can be really hard on you and make the activity even harder.
HS:In your book and on TikTok, you talk about care tasks being morally neutral.
Can you explain what that means?
Youre not a good or bad person because youre messy or tidy.
Sometimes people misunderstand me and think that I am trying to affirm that messiness is good.
My goal is to help people function and do tasks that make their lives better.
The person knows that they need to.
Theres no barrier of information in this instance.
HS:What if someone is just stuck and doesnt want to do something?
You deserve to spend money on things you want and need, and not dental bills.
You deserve to have healthy teeth, and that is accomplished via this task.
HS:As far as gentle skill building goes, do you have any favorite tips?
KC:Yes, so my favorite tip is my Five Things tidying method.
That is also the order of challenges they are to take care of.
Putting things away and making a pile of things without homes is last.
That last pile is what usually causes stress and clutter.
She explains that tidying is simple and about putting things into their categories fast.
If you thought the above tips were useful, there are plenty more waiting for you in her book.
…
Got it, you’ve been added to our email list.
