There’s a psychological reason why you don’t want to share where you got your favorite sweater.
Experts explain the urge.
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(Spoiler alert: it didnt exactly go viral.)
But not all of my viewers were thrilled.
Dont say the name, commenters warned, presumably to ensure it didnt get too popular.
licensed marriage and family therapist
As it turns out, many people want to keep things exclusive.
In an increasingly global world, what propels the need to gatekeep?
Is the rise of influencer culture to blame?
Are we nervous our favorite things will become too accessible?
Psychology and sociology experts explain these are part of the discussion, but not the whole story.
Why do people hoard the things they love?
Like, you know,a pair of shoes.
That perfume or footwear is the unique thing that differentiates them from the crowd.
And they might not be ready to give that up.
licensed marriage and family therapist
Like hoarding, gatekeeping has conscious and unconscious psychological roots, Leeby says.
What do they have to lose?
In those cases, it might be a sign for that person to do some self-reflection, Leeby argues.
Thats right: It might be time to assesswhythey believe they cant share it.
An urge to gatekeep might stem from a past wound or insecurity that continues to call the shots subconsciously.
Gatekeeping and other fear-based behaviors are like gold to the soul, Leeby says.
They provide us with rich opportunities to inquire within.
But it calls for taking time for detective worksome self-reflection.
Trace the trigger back to the first time you thought something special lost its appeal.
With this awareness in the present, I can rationally and quickly work through that old pain.
I can find ways to assure myself that I am worthy and special in the here and now.
OK, but why are so many people gatekeeping online?
In fact, digital sociologists argue that there are some legitimate reasons why someone might choose to gatekeep online.
Internet gatekeepers are also concerned about volume.
The mind of the wound is not the same as our rational mind, Leeby says.
This is an opportunity to bring the unconscious into consciousness.
Youre not a bad person if youre wary of sharing recommendations with others.
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