For Naaya Wellness Sinikiwe Dhliwayo, feminism has never supported her.
Here’s what she says needs to happen to create real equality.
In college, I began to apply language to such early experiences of navigating this reality.
As my ability to name it became clear, so did my rage.
There is no coming back from the despair that is someones inability to see you as a human being.
While I traversed the magazine publishing industry, she spent her days immersed in the world of fashion.
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She assured me that contributing to food and household expenses would suffice for payment.
I was not aware that this could turn on a dime.
We made it two weeks before the realities of living in a studio apartment reached critical mass.
She laid bare how despicable she found it that I couldnt contribute to the rent.
She was perplexed as to why I didnt just ask my parents for the money to pay my rent.
I did my best to reassure her that my move-out date was imminent, but it wasnt enough.
Cooler heads did not prevail, and she called the police on me.
Scared is too docile of a word to describe the feeling that I might die.
Nothing good could come from a white womans words and a Black womans body.
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A crying white woman is a rallying cry for helplessness and for everyone in her presence to protect her.
Still shaking, I did my best to answer their questions without breaking into tears.
The questions continued as they tried to ascertain notifI had done something, butwhatI had done.
The police left, but I didnt feel safe.
There was no way I could stay the night there.
I rushed to pack up my belongings and left.
With feminism, parity can only be sought if you are white and seek to further uphold white supremacy.
As I sat with two superiors to discuss this, I had a feeling the conversation would be challenging.
No sooner than we sat down did the tears starthere we go again.
She believed that my focus was elsewhere.
I found both statements odd.
I didnt believe so.
If I stood up for myself or said anything, I would be told it wasnt true.
I would be seen as combative and deserving of punishment.
With feminism, parity can only be sought if you are white and seek to further uphold white supremacy.
Thiscan not and will not be how we get free.
My understanding of feminism is that it aint it.
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