Adult bullies can be coworkers, friends, or even loved ones.
Here’s how to identify, navigate, and protect yourself from adult bullying.
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You bypass your coworkers in the cafeteria and overhear them spreading rumors about a colleague.
And according to mental health professionals, it can be just as distressing as childhood bullying.
It can also occur in friendships, work dynamics, and romantic relationships.
licensed marriage and family therapist
Unfortunately, adult bullying has become so normalized that most adults fail to recognize the behavior.
Arecent surveyby the American Osteopathic Association found that 43 percent of adults believe that bullying is more accepted.
However, we can curtail this increase in adult bullying by understanding and identifying bullies behaviors.
Read ahead for the various ways adult bullying can manifest.
Examples of verbal bullying include body shaming and racial micro-aggressions.
Physical bullying
Physically bullying is using ones body or physical objects to intimidate another, says Belcastro.
Invading someones personal boundaries through unwanted physical touch, or destroying someones personal items are examples of physical bullying.
Unlike verbal or physical bullying where interactions are interpersonal, cyberbullying occurs anonymously.
This makes it more damaging and dangerous, as theres no virtual accountability, says Dr. Turner.
licensed marriage and family therapist
He continues, saying that this can look like chronic criticism or repeated gossip.
Can a friend be bullying me?
Bullying can occur in every relationship, including friendships.
Someone loses, feelings are hurt, and the cycle continues.
What drives bullying?
What are some common misconceptions about bullying?
The most common misconception of adult bullying is that the bullying is always intentional.
Itcanbe, says Belcastro, but not every case is.
These can be passive-aggressive statements, engagement in the use of micro-aggressions, and other behaviors.
Not all jokes should be masked as humor, especially if theyre demeaning or belittling.
What are the mental health effects of bullying?
Bullyinghas been shown to1lower self-esteem and impact the victims social skills.
Too, productivity and work ethic can suffer if bullying happens in the workplace, Dr. Turner adds.
But whats the case when an adult gets bullied?
Its complicated, as adult bullying comes in many forms from interpersonal to online.
For bullying in the workplace, human resources can be contacted to get to stop the harassment and intimidation.
Set firm boundaries
Boundaries are important in any relationship.
Setting boundaries lets a personwhether theyre a bully or notknow what is or is not okay in a relationship.
If a bully breaks your boundaries, theyll know their access to you is revoked.
Keep your distance
Belcastro recommends providing space away from the bully.
Naturally, thats easier said than done, especially in the workplace.
That can mean moving to a different team or even switching desks.
Its also important to choose your battles.
Bullying is a stress-inducing experience and confronting your bully can heighten your negative emotions.
Sometimes, its better to keep your distance and avoid any interactions.
Dont take it personally
Its hard not to take a bullys remarks personally.
But try not to internalize a bullys behavior, says Belcastro.
It is important to work on remaining confident and standing tall in your own truth.
Witnesses to bullying should either diffuse the situation or confront the bully, if safe and appropriate.
By not doing so, bystanders are condoning a bullys behavior, Belcastro says.
Responding to bullying as a bystander takes courage.
Ultimately, if the bullying impacts your mental and physical state, its time to see a therapist.
Remember: You dont have to deal with the bullying alone.
There are trusted mental health professionals who can help you overcome bullying and stop it from happening again.
Dou, Yunru et al.
22 Oct. 2022, doi:10.3390/children9111606
Blanchflower, David G, and Alex Bryson.
The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood.Social science & medicine (1982)vol.
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