Giving helpful advice can be tricky.
Our relationships, which arecentral to our well-being, often require us to give advice.
But doing so effectively, and without unintentionally causing harm, can be quite tricky.
In a way, we reassign our feelings, struggles, emotions to someone else.
Melanie Ross Mills, PhD, relationship expert
So, why do we project?
In fact, projection can and does occur in any key in of interpersonal relationship, says Kelaher.
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5 signs you might be projecting your issues on someone
1.
For example, maybe your friend wantsadvice on a difficult breakup, but you just went through one.
And that might lead you to project your experience onto them rather than listen for the nuance.
Advice should be based on individual circumstances.
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4.
Without the whole story, you could be filling in the gaps with your own experiences and feelings.
Your advice is judgmental
Your bestie is trusting you with their story and situation.
The last thing they need isjudgment or criticism.
5 ways to ensure your advice is supportive, and doesnt veer into projecting
1.
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According to Dr. Levine, finding the right time and place to have the conversation is essential.
or How do you feel about…?
Questions can also help your friend better understand howtheyare feeling about the situation and explore potential solutions and outcomes.
Acknowledge your limitations
Sometimes we dont have the answers or expertise to help a friend, and thats okay.
Dr. Levine says recognizing your limits in terms of expertise and experience is key to giving good advice.
Your role can be in supporting your friend in seeking appropriate care and help.
Navigating any relationship can be difficult.
Caring for others requires first knowing and taking care of yourself.
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